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七、书面表达(满分25分)
你的美国网友米莉想养金鱼,但又不太了解它们。她知道你的宠物是金鱼,因此希望你能给她提供一些帮助。请根据以下提示,写一篇文章。
要求:1. 内容必须包括以上所有提示,可适当发挥；
2. 要点齐全,语句通顺,意思连贯,条理清楚,书写规范；
3. 词数80左右,文章标题和开头已经给出,不计入总词数。
My pet goldfish
Goldfish are my favourite pet. I like them very much.
你的美国网友米莉想养金鱼,但又不太了解它们。她知道你的宠物是金鱼,因此希望你能给她提供一些帮助。请根据以下提示,写一篇文章。
要求:1. 内容必须包括以上所有提示,可适当发挥；
2. 要点齐全,语句通顺,意思连贯,条理清楚,书写规范；
3. 词数80左右,文章标题和开头已经给出,不计入总词数。
My pet goldfish
Goldfish are my favourite pet. I like them very much.
答案
七、书面表达
One possible version:
My pet goldfish
Goldfish are my favourite pet. I like them very much. They are small. They can grow up to 20 centimetres long and weigh up to 400 grams. Some are black, some are orange and some are red. They are easy to look after. I feed them once a day. They eat special fish food and sometimes eat vegetables. I put them in clean water. They never make any trouble. They are very quiet, and they don't make any noise. I like watching them swim around.
Oh, my pet goldfish can always make me happy. We are good friends.
One possible version:
My pet goldfish
Goldfish are my favourite pet. I like them very much. They are small. They can grow up to 20 centimetres long and weigh up to 400 grams. Some are black, some are orange and some are red. They are easy to look after. I feed them once a day. They eat special fish food and sometimes eat vegetables. I put them in clean water. They never make any trouble. They are very quiet, and they don't make any noise. I like watching them swim around.
Oh, my pet goldfish can always make me happy. We are good friends.
解析
【分析】
首先明确这道题的写作任务：给想要养金鱼的美国网友米莉科普金鱼的相关信息，帮她了解金鱼的特点和饲养注意事项。第一步先把思维导图里的所有要点全部梳理出来，避免遗漏：①喜欢金鱼的原因：喜欢看它们游动、金鱼很容易照料；②照料方法：每天投喂一次、把金鱼放在干净的水里；③生活习性：吃专用鱼食、偶尔吃蔬菜；④性格特点：非常安静，从不发出噪音。接下来顺着逻辑排布内容：先承接题目给出的开头，补充少量金鱼外形的简单描述，自然引出喜爱金鱼的原因，之后依次介绍饲养注意事项、金鱼的饮食习惯、性格特征，最后加简短的收尾句让行文连贯，控制总词数在要求的80左右，用合适的连接词串联内容，不要生硬逐句翻译要点即可。
【解析】
1. 承接题目给出的开头，补充金鱼的大小、颜色这类简单外形描述，让内容更生动自然；
2. 引入饲养相关内容，对应照料方法的要点：说明金鱼很容易照料，自己每天只喂一次，要把它们放在干净的水中；
3. 接着介绍金鱼的饮食特点，对应生活习性部分：它们日常吃专用的鱼食，有时候也会吃少量蔬菜；
4. 之后介绍金鱼的性格特征，对应性格部分：它们十分安静，从来不会发出噪音，也不会制造麻烦；
5. 最后点出自己很喜欢看金鱼游来游去，养金鱼总能让自己开心，完成全文，最后检查所有给定要点都全部覆盖，语句通顺，词数符合要求。
【答案】
One possible version:
My pet goldfish
Goldfish are my favourite pet. I like them very much. They are small. They can grow up to 20 centimetres long and weigh up to 400 grams. Some are black, some are orange and some are red. They are easy to look after. I feed them once a day. They eat special fish food and sometimes eat vegetables. I put them in clean water. They never make any trouble. They are very quiet, and they don't make any noise. I like watching them swim around.
Oh, my pet goldfish can always make me happy. We are good friends.
【知识点】
宠物话题写作
要点类作文组织
常用短语运用
【点评】
本篇范文完整覆盖了题干给出的全部提示要点，逻辑顺序清晰合理，从金鱼的外形、饲养方法、饮食习惯到性格特征依次展开，补充的细节让内容饱满自然，完全符合给网友科普养金鱼知识的语境，语句通顺连贯，词数符合题目要求，是一篇典型的高分范文。同学们写这类要点提示类作文时，首先要保证所有给定要点不遗漏，再适当添加少量衔接句和合理细节，避免生硬堆砌要点。
【难度系数】
0.7
首先明确这道题的写作任务：给想要养金鱼的美国网友米莉科普金鱼的相关信息，帮她了解金鱼的特点和饲养注意事项。第一步先把思维导图里的所有要点全部梳理出来，避免遗漏：①喜欢金鱼的原因：喜欢看它们游动、金鱼很容易照料；②照料方法：每天投喂一次、把金鱼放在干净的水里；③生活习性：吃专用鱼食、偶尔吃蔬菜；④性格特点：非常安静，从不发出噪音。接下来顺着逻辑排布内容：先承接题目给出的开头，补充少量金鱼外形的简单描述，自然引出喜爱金鱼的原因，之后依次介绍饲养注意事项、金鱼的饮食习惯、性格特征，最后加简短的收尾句让行文连贯，控制总词数在要求的80左右，用合适的连接词串联内容，不要生硬逐句翻译要点即可。
【解析】
1. 承接题目给出的开头，补充金鱼的大小、颜色这类简单外形描述，让内容更生动自然；
2. 引入饲养相关内容，对应照料方法的要点：说明金鱼很容易照料，自己每天只喂一次，要把它们放在干净的水中；
3. 接着介绍金鱼的饮食特点，对应生活习性部分：它们日常吃专用的鱼食，有时候也会吃少量蔬菜；
4. 之后介绍金鱼的性格特征，对应性格部分：它们十分安静，从来不会发出噪音，也不会制造麻烦；
5. 最后点出自己很喜欢看金鱼游来游去，养金鱼总能让自己开心，完成全文，最后检查所有给定要点都全部覆盖，语句通顺，词数符合要求。
【答案】
One possible version:
My pet goldfish
Goldfish are my favourite pet. I like them very much. They are small. They can grow up to 20 centimetres long and weigh up to 400 grams. Some are black, some are orange and some are red. They are easy to look after. I feed them once a day. They eat special fish food and sometimes eat vegetables. I put them in clean water. They never make any trouble. They are very quiet, and they don't make any noise. I like watching them swim around.
Oh, my pet goldfish can always make me happy. We are good friends.
【知识点】
宠物话题写作
要点类作文组织
常用短语运用
【点评】
本篇范文完整覆盖了题干给出的全部提示要点，逻辑顺序清晰合理，从金鱼的外形、饲养方法、饮食习惯到性格特征依次展开，补充的细节让内容饱满自然，完全符合给网友科普养金鱼知识的语境，语句通顺连贯，词数符合题目要求，是一篇典型的高分范文。同学们写这类要点提示类作文时，首先要保证所有给定要点不遗漏，再适当添加少量衔接句和合理细节，避免生硬堆砌要点。
【难度系数】
0.7
