四、书面表达
你的朋友丽丽想养金鱼,但又不太了解它们。她知道你的宠物是金鱼,因此希望你能给她提供一些帮助。请根据以下提示,写一篇短文。

注意:
1. 内容须包含以上要点,可作适当发挥;
2. 要点齐全,语言通顺,意思连贯,条理清楚,书写规范;
3. 词数80左右,开头已给出,不计入总词数。
My pet goldfish
Goldfish are my favourite pet. I like them very much.
你的朋友丽丽想养金鱼,但又不太了解它们。她知道你的宠物是金鱼,因此希望你能给她提供一些帮助。请根据以下提示,写一篇短文。
注意:
1. 内容须包含以上要点,可作适当发挥;
2. 要点齐全,语言通顺,意思连贯,条理清楚,书写规范;
3. 词数80左右,开头已给出,不计入总词数。
My pet goldfish
Goldfish are my favourite pet. I like them very much.
答案
One possible version:
My pet goldfish
Goldfish are my favourite pet. I like them very much. They are small. They can grow up to 20
centimetres long and weigh up to 40 grams. Some of them are black, some are orange and some are red.
They are easy to look after. I feed them once a day. They eat special fish food and sometimes eat
vegetables. I put them in clean water. They don't make any trouble. They are very quiet, and they don't
make any noise. I like watching them swim around.
My pet goldfish can always make me happy. We are good friends.
My pet goldfish
Goldfish are my favourite pet. I like them very much. They are small. They can grow up to 20
centimetres long and weigh up to 40 grams. Some of them are black, some are orange and some are red.
They are easy to look after. I feed them once a day. They eat special fish food and sometimes eat
vegetables. I put them in clean water. They don't make any trouble. They are very quiet, and they don't
make any noise. I like watching them swim around.
My pet goldfish can always make me happy. We are good friends.
解析
【分析】
拿到这道书面表达题,首先明确写作任务:给想养金鱼的朋友丽丽介绍金鱼的相关常识,分享养金鱼的注意事项。第二步先梳理思维导图里的所有核心要点,避免遗漏:①养金鱼的原因:喜欢观赏它们、金鱼很容易照料;②金鱼的食物:吃专用鱼食、偶尔可以喂蔬菜;③照料金鱼的方法:每天只喂一次、要把金鱼放在干净的水里;④金鱼的特点:性格安静,从来不会发出噪音。第三步搭建行文逻辑:先补充金鱼外形的合理细节让内容更生动,接着介绍金鱼的性格特点,再依次讲喂食要求、照料的注意事项,最后点出自己喜欢金鱼的原因,呼应主题,全程用一般现在时,控制总词数在要求范围内,衔接自然即可完成写作。
【解析】
1. 审题明确要求:文体是介绍类说明文,受众是想养金鱼的朋友,时态以一般现在时为主,必须覆盖所有思维导图给出的要点,可适当补充外形等合理细节,词数80左右。
2. 搭建行文框架:
① 承接给定开头,先补充金鱼的外形特征,比如大小、不同的颜色,让介绍更生动。
② 接着介绍金鱼的性格特点:非常安静,不会发出任何噪音,不会添麻烦。
③ 然后介绍金鱼的喂食相关内容:它们吃专用的鱼食,偶尔也可以吃蔬菜,每天只需要喂一次就可以。
④ 再讲照料要点:要把它们放在干净的水里,照料难度很低。
⑤ 最后点出自己喜欢看金鱼游来游去,它们能给自己带来快乐,收尾完成全文。
3. 最终检查要点是否全部覆盖,排查语法错误,调整语句让行文更通顺连贯。
【答案】
One possible version:
My pet goldfish
Goldfish are my favourite pet. I like them very much. They are small. They can grow up to 20 centimetres long and weigh up to 40 grams. Some of them are black, some are orange and some are red.
They are easy to look after. I feed them once a day. They eat special fish food and sometimes eat vegetables. I put them in clean water. They don't make any trouble. They are very quiet, and they don't make any noise. I like watching them swim around.
My pet goldfish can always make me happy. We are good friends.
【知识点】
英语书面表达,一般现在时,要点整合写作
【点评】
本题是初中低年级常见的提示类状物写作题,所有核心要点都已经通过思维导图明确给出,不需要学生自行构思核心内容,难度较低。学生写作时只需要注意不要遗漏任何提示要点,用通顺的语句串联零散信息,适当补充少量合理细节让文章更自然,避免生硬堆砌要点即可拿到不错的分数。
【难度系数】
0.7
拿到这道书面表达题,首先明确写作任务:给想养金鱼的朋友丽丽介绍金鱼的相关常识,分享养金鱼的注意事项。第二步先梳理思维导图里的所有核心要点,避免遗漏:①养金鱼的原因:喜欢观赏它们、金鱼很容易照料;②金鱼的食物:吃专用鱼食、偶尔可以喂蔬菜;③照料金鱼的方法:每天只喂一次、要把金鱼放在干净的水里;④金鱼的特点:性格安静,从来不会发出噪音。第三步搭建行文逻辑:先补充金鱼外形的合理细节让内容更生动,接着介绍金鱼的性格特点,再依次讲喂食要求、照料的注意事项,最后点出自己喜欢金鱼的原因,呼应主题,全程用一般现在时,控制总词数在要求范围内,衔接自然即可完成写作。
【解析】
1. 审题明确要求:文体是介绍类说明文,受众是想养金鱼的朋友,时态以一般现在时为主,必须覆盖所有思维导图给出的要点,可适当补充外形等合理细节,词数80左右。
2. 搭建行文框架:
① 承接给定开头,先补充金鱼的外形特征,比如大小、不同的颜色,让介绍更生动。
② 接着介绍金鱼的性格特点:非常安静,不会发出任何噪音,不会添麻烦。
③ 然后介绍金鱼的喂食相关内容:它们吃专用的鱼食,偶尔也可以吃蔬菜,每天只需要喂一次就可以。
④ 再讲照料要点:要把它们放在干净的水里,照料难度很低。
⑤ 最后点出自己喜欢看金鱼游来游去,它们能给自己带来快乐,收尾完成全文。
3. 最终检查要点是否全部覆盖,排查语法错误,调整语句让行文更通顺连贯。
【答案】
One possible version:
My pet goldfish
Goldfish are my favourite pet. I like them very much. They are small. They can grow up to 20 centimetres long and weigh up to 40 grams. Some of them are black, some are orange and some are red.
They are easy to look after. I feed them once a day. They eat special fish food and sometimes eat vegetables. I put them in clean water. They don't make any trouble. They are very quiet, and they don't make any noise. I like watching them swim around.
My pet goldfish can always make me happy. We are good friends.
【知识点】
英语书面表达,一般现在时,要点整合写作
【点评】
本题是初中低年级常见的提示类状物写作题,所有核心要点都已经通过思维导图明确给出,不需要学生自行构思核心内容,难度较低。学生写作时只需要注意不要遗漏任何提示要点,用通顺的语句串联零散信息,适当补充少量合理细节让文章更自然,避免生硬堆砌要点即可拿到不错的分数。
【难度系数】
0.7
登录