登录
七、书面表达
"人情重怀土,故乡安可忘。"我们对家乡有着特别的熟悉感和亲
切感,作为青少年的我们,也有责任和义务让我们的家乡变得更好。
请你以"Better hometown, better life"为题,围绕以下几个方面来介
绍你的家乡及如何使家乡更好。
注意:
(1) 文中须包含所有内容要点,可作适当发挥,使全文连贯、
通顺；
(2) 词数 90 左右,开头已给出,不计入总词数；
(3) 文中不得提及真实的人名、校名等相关信息。
Better hometown, better life
Hello, I'm very glad to tell you something about my hometown.
"人情重怀土,故乡安可忘。"我们对家乡有着特别的熟悉感和亲
切感,作为青少年的我们,也有责任和义务让我们的家乡变得更好。
请你以"Better hometown, better life"为题,围绕以下几个方面来介
绍你的家乡及如何使家乡更好。
注意:
(1) 文中须包含所有内容要点,可作适当发挥,使全文连贯、
通顺；
(2) 词数 90 左右,开头已给出,不计入总词数；
(3) 文中不得提及真实的人名、校名等相关信息。
Better hometown, better life
Hello, I'm very glad to tell you something about my hometown.
答案
One possible version:
Better hometown, better life
Hello, I'm very glad to tell you something about my hometown.
My hometown is not far from Shanghai. It's a modern and beautiful city. On each side of the roads,
there are some big trees and colourful flowers. The roads are also very clean. The air is very fresh here.
They make people feel happy and comfortable. And we can smell flowers and hear birds sing.
Besides, you can see lots of tall buildings everywhere. There are many volunteers at most of our
community centres. They're ready to help others in need. People here are very kind and friendly. What's
more, there are lots of places to visit in my hometown, such as the Wolf Hill, Haohe River and
Nantong Museum. I think our hometown is worth a visit. You can enjoy yourselves here.
To make our hometown better, I'll work harder and try my best to protect the environment in my
hometown.
Better hometown, better life
Hello, I'm very glad to tell you something about my hometown.
My hometown is not far from Shanghai. It's a modern and beautiful city. On each side of the roads,
there are some big trees and colourful flowers. The roads are also very clean. The air is very fresh here.
They make people feel happy and comfortable. And we can smell flowers and hear birds sing.
Besides, you can see lots of tall buildings everywhere. There are many volunteers at most of our
community centres. They're ready to help others in need. People here are very kind and friendly. What's
more, there are lots of places to visit in my hometown, such as the Wolf Hill, Haohe River and
Nantong Museum. I think our hometown is worth a visit. You can enjoy yourselves here.
To make our hometown better, I'll work harder and try my best to protect the environment in my
hometown.
解析
【分析】
首先拿到这道书面表达题，第一步先明确核心要求：主题是“Better hometown, better life”，必须覆盖思维导图给出的全部5个要点：家乡环境、社区情况、邻里特点、可游览的地点、建设更好家乡的方法。第二步规划行文逻辑：开头已经给出，先从环境切入，描述家乡干净清新的宜居环境，对应第一个要点；接着介绍社区的配套服务，再引出邻里友善热心的特点，覆盖社区、邻里两个要点；之后列举家乡的特色景点，对应游览地点的要点；最后落脚到自己可以为家乡做的实际行动，对应改进方法的要点。写作时注意语句通顺连贯，控制总词数在90左右，不要出现真实人名、校名即可。
【解析】
1. 开篇承接给定开头，先总述家乡的整体定位，再展开描述环境：介绍道路整洁、绿植花卉多、空气清新的特点，完成Environment要点的写作。
2. 接下来转向人文部分：介绍社区里的志愿者服务，再说明本地居民都友善热心，乐于助人，同时覆盖Community和Neighbours两个要点。
3. 之后介绍家乡的文旅资源：列举几处本地知名的游览地点，说明家乡值得游玩，完成Places to visit的要点。
4. 最后收尾，说明自己会努力学习、践行环保，为建设更好的家乡出一份力，完成Ways to make it better的要点。
全程注意使用Besides、What's more等衔接词让行文逻辑更顺畅，符合词数要求。
【答案】
One possible version:
Better hometown, better life
Hello, I'm very glad to tell you something about my hometown.
My hometown is not far from Shanghai. It's a modern and beautiful city. On each side of the roads, there are some big trees and colourful flowers. The roads are also very clean. The air is very fresh here. They make people feel happy and comfortable. And we can smell flowers and hear birds sing.
Besides, you can see lots of tall buildings everywhere. There are many volunteers at most of our community centres. They're ready to help others in need. People here are very kind and friendly. What's more, there are lots of places to visit in my hometown, such as the Wolf Hill, Haohe River and Nantong Museum. I think our hometown is worth a visit. You can enjoy yourselves here.
To make our hometown better, I'll work harder and try my best to protect the environment in my hometown.
【知识点】
英语书面表达，要点类作文写作，常用句式运用
【点评】
本题属于提示类主题作文，给出的思维导图已经明确了所有写作维度，降低了构思难度，学生只需要按照提示的5个方向逐一填充符合逻辑的内容，适当使用衔接词让行文连贯，避免遗漏要点、不出现真实个人信息，就可以写出符合要求的作文，同时也能引导学生关注自己的家乡，树立建设家乡的意识。
【难度系数】
0.7
首先拿到这道书面表达题，第一步先明确核心要求：主题是“Better hometown, better life”，必须覆盖思维导图给出的全部5个要点：家乡环境、社区情况、邻里特点、可游览的地点、建设更好家乡的方法。第二步规划行文逻辑：开头已经给出，先从环境切入，描述家乡干净清新的宜居环境，对应第一个要点；接着介绍社区的配套服务，再引出邻里友善热心的特点，覆盖社区、邻里两个要点；之后列举家乡的特色景点，对应游览地点的要点；最后落脚到自己可以为家乡做的实际行动，对应改进方法的要点。写作时注意语句通顺连贯，控制总词数在90左右，不要出现真实人名、校名即可。
【解析】
1. 开篇承接给定开头，先总述家乡的整体定位，再展开描述环境：介绍道路整洁、绿植花卉多、空气清新的特点，完成Environment要点的写作。
2. 接下来转向人文部分：介绍社区里的志愿者服务，再说明本地居民都友善热心，乐于助人，同时覆盖Community和Neighbours两个要点。
3. 之后介绍家乡的文旅资源：列举几处本地知名的游览地点，说明家乡值得游玩，完成Places to visit的要点。
4. 最后收尾，说明自己会努力学习、践行环保，为建设更好的家乡出一份力，完成Ways to make it better的要点。
全程注意使用Besides、What's more等衔接词让行文逻辑更顺畅，符合词数要求。
【答案】
One possible version:
Better hometown, better life
Hello, I'm very glad to tell you something about my hometown.
My hometown is not far from Shanghai. It's a modern and beautiful city. On each side of the roads, there are some big trees and colourful flowers. The roads are also very clean. The air is very fresh here. They make people feel happy and comfortable. And we can smell flowers and hear birds sing.
Besides, you can see lots of tall buildings everywhere. There are many volunteers at most of our community centres. They're ready to help others in need. People here are very kind and friendly. What's more, there are lots of places to visit in my hometown, such as the Wolf Hill, Haohe River and Nantong Museum. I think our hometown is worth a visit. You can enjoy yourselves here.
To make our hometown better, I'll work harder and try my best to protect the environment in my hometown.
【知识点】
英语书面表达，要点类作文写作，常用句式运用
【点评】
本题属于提示类主题作文，给出的思维导图已经明确了所有写作维度，降低了构思难度，学生只需要按照提示的5个方向逐一填充符合逻辑的内容，适当使用衔接词让行文连贯，避免遗漏要点、不出现真实个人信息，就可以写出符合要求的作文，同时也能引导学生关注自己的家乡，树立建设家乡的意识。
【难度系数】
0.7
