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七、书面表达
假如你是李华,在七年级的学习和生活中,你跟来自伦敦的交流生安德鲁Andrew成了朝夕相处的好朋友。他的善良和助人为乐等优秀品质给你留下了深刻的印象。请根据下面的思维导图提示,以"My good friend Andrew"为题,写一篇英语短文向杂志社投稿。
注意：
（1）文中须包含思维导图中所提供的所有信息,并作适当发挥；
（2）语言通顺,意思连贯,条理清楚,书写规范；
（3）词数80左右,开头已给出,不计入总词数；
（4）文中不得出现真实的人名、校名等信息。
My good friend Andrew
My good friend Andrew and I are in the same class. He's the most popular student in our class.
假如你是李华,在七年级的学习和生活中,你跟来自伦敦的交流生安德鲁Andrew成了朝夕相处的好朋友。他的善良和助人为乐等优秀品质给你留下了深刻的印象。请根据下面的思维导图提示,以"My good friend Andrew"为题,写一篇英语短文向杂志社投稿。
注意：
（1）文中须包含思维导图中所提供的所有信息,并作适当发挥；
（2）语言通顺,意思连贯,条理清楚,书写规范；
（3）词数80左右,开头已给出,不计入总词数；
（4）文中不得出现真实的人名、校名等信息。
My good friend Andrew
My good friend Andrew and I are in the same class. He's the most popular student in our class.
He comes from London. He is 13 years old. He has short and brown hair and always wears glasses.
In his free time, he likes playing football and watching films. His favourite pet is a dog. After school, he often goes out and walks it.
He is clever. He studies hard and does well in all subjects. He is friendly to everyone around him. He is always glad to help us when we have problems in learning English. Last Saturday, a 6-year-old girl lost her way in a shopping mall. He helped the girl find her parents.
His dream job is to be a doctor to save more patients.
In his free time, he likes playing football and watching films. His favourite pet is a dog. After school, he often goes out and walks it.
He is clever. He studies hard and does well in all subjects. He is friendly to everyone around him. He is always glad to help us when we have problems in learning English. Last Saturday, a 6-year-old girl lost her way in a shopping mall. He helped the girl find her parents.
His dream job is to be a doctor to save more patients.
答案
One possible version:
My good friend Andrew
My good friend Andrew and I are in the same class. He's the most popular student in our class. He
comes from London. He is 13 years old. He has short and brown hair and always wears glasses.
In his free time, he likes playing football and watching films. His favourite pet is a dog. After
school, he often goes out and walks it.
He is clever. He studies hard and does well in all subjects. He is friendly to everyone around him.
He is always glad to help us when we have problems in learning English. Last Saturday, a 6-year-old
girl lost her way in a shopping mall. He helped the girl find her parents.
His dream job is to be a doctor to save more patients.
My good friend Andrew
My good friend Andrew and I are in the same class. He's the most popular student in our class. He
comes from London. He is 13 years old. He has short and brown hair and always wears glasses.
In his free time, he likes playing football and watching films. His favourite pet is a dog. After
school, he often goes out and walks it.
He is clever. He studies hard and does well in all subjects. He is friendly to everyone around him.
He is always glad to help us when we have problems in learning English. Last Saturday, a 6-year-old
girl lost her way in a shopping mall. He helped the girl find her parents.
His dream job is to be a doctor to save more patients.
解析
【分析】
首先拿到这道题先明确写作要求：第一，主题是介绍好友Andrew向杂志社投稿，必须覆盖思维导图给出的全部7项信息点：家乡、外貌、爱好、最爱的宠物、个人能力、善良乐于助人的性格+两个实例、理想工作；第二，行文要通顺连贯，词数控制在80左右，不能出现真实个人信息。
解题思路可以按从基础信息到内在特质的顺序梳理：第一步先补充Andrew的家乡相关信息，紧接着描写他的外貌特征，完成基础介绍；第二步补充他的课余爱好和最喜欢的宠物相关内容，让人物形象更鲜活；第三步介绍他的能力优势，再结合要求给出两个能体现他善良、乐于助人的具体小事，完成性格部分的写作；最后收尾介绍他的理想工作，整体逻辑顺承自然，不会出现要点遗漏的问题。
【解析】
1. 承接题干给出的开头，首先交代Andrew的家乡：他来自伦敦，今年13岁，对应Hometown要点；
2. 接下来描写外貌：留着棕色短发，经常戴眼镜，对应Looks要点；
3. 之后介绍课余生活：空闲时间喜欢踢足球、看电影，他最喜欢的宠物是小狗，放学后经常去遛狗，依次覆盖Hobby和Favourite pet两个要点；
4. 随后介绍能力：他很聪明学习努力，所有科目成绩都很好，对应Abilities要点；
5. 紧接着描写性格：他待人友善，大家英语学习有困难他总会主动帮忙，上周六还帮迷路的6岁小女孩找到了父母，两个实例完全符合helpful、kind的性格设定要求；
6. 最后收尾点明他的理想工作是当一名医生，救治更多病人，对应Dream job要点。
整体所有提示点全部覆盖，语句符合七年级英语表达习惯，逻辑连贯，符合投稿的语境要求。
【答案】
One possible version:
My good friend Andrew
My good friend Andrew and I are in the same class. He's the most popular student in our class. He comes from London. He is 13 years old. He has short and brown hair and always wears glasses.
In his free time, he likes playing football and watching films. His favourite pet is a dog. After school, he often goes out and walks it.
He is clever. He studies hard and does well in all subjects. He is friendly to everyone around him. He is always glad to help us when we have problems in learning English. Last Saturday, a 6-year-old girl lost her way in a shopping mall. He helped the girl find her parents.
His dream job is to be a doctor to save more patients.
【知识点】
人物类英语写作，提纲作文写作
【点评】
本篇范文完整覆盖了题干思维导图给出的全部信息点，补充的内容贴合初中学生的日常场景，两个体现人物善良热心的实例具体生动，行文从外在形象到内在品质层层递进，语言通顺流畅，符合七年级学生的英语表达水平，完全满足投稿的要求。同学们写这类人物介绍类作文时，要先把所有要求的要点列出来逐一对应完成，避免遗漏要点丢分。
【难度系数】
0.6
首先拿到这道题先明确写作要求：第一，主题是介绍好友Andrew向杂志社投稿，必须覆盖思维导图给出的全部7项信息点：家乡、外貌、爱好、最爱的宠物、个人能力、善良乐于助人的性格+两个实例、理想工作；第二，行文要通顺连贯，词数控制在80左右，不能出现真实个人信息。
解题思路可以按从基础信息到内在特质的顺序梳理：第一步先补充Andrew的家乡相关信息，紧接着描写他的外貌特征，完成基础介绍；第二步补充他的课余爱好和最喜欢的宠物相关内容，让人物形象更鲜活；第三步介绍他的能力优势，再结合要求给出两个能体现他善良、乐于助人的具体小事，完成性格部分的写作；最后收尾介绍他的理想工作，整体逻辑顺承自然，不会出现要点遗漏的问题。
【解析】
1. 承接题干给出的开头，首先交代Andrew的家乡：他来自伦敦，今年13岁，对应Hometown要点；
2. 接下来描写外貌：留着棕色短发，经常戴眼镜，对应Looks要点；
3. 之后介绍课余生活：空闲时间喜欢踢足球、看电影，他最喜欢的宠物是小狗，放学后经常去遛狗，依次覆盖Hobby和Favourite pet两个要点；
4. 随后介绍能力：他很聪明学习努力，所有科目成绩都很好，对应Abilities要点；
5. 紧接着描写性格：他待人友善，大家英语学习有困难他总会主动帮忙，上周六还帮迷路的6岁小女孩找到了父母，两个实例完全符合helpful、kind的性格设定要求；
6. 最后收尾点明他的理想工作是当一名医生，救治更多病人，对应Dream job要点。
整体所有提示点全部覆盖，语句符合七年级英语表达习惯，逻辑连贯，符合投稿的语境要求。
【答案】
One possible version:
My good friend Andrew
My good friend Andrew and I are in the same class. He's the most popular student in our class. He comes from London. He is 13 years old. He has short and brown hair and always wears glasses.
In his free time, he likes playing football and watching films. His favourite pet is a dog. After school, he often goes out and walks it.
He is clever. He studies hard and does well in all subjects. He is friendly to everyone around him. He is always glad to help us when we have problems in learning English. Last Saturday, a 6-year-old girl lost her way in a shopping mall. He helped the girl find her parents.
His dream job is to be a doctor to save more patients.
【知识点】
人物类英语写作，提纲作文写作
【点评】
本篇范文完整覆盖了题干思维导图给出的全部信息点，补充的内容贴合初中学生的日常场景，两个体现人物善良热心的实例具体生动，行文从外在形象到内在品质层层递进，语言通顺流畅，符合七年级学生的英语表达水平，完全满足投稿的要求。同学们写这类人物介绍类作文时，要先把所有要求的要点列出来逐一对应完成，避免遗漏要点丢分。
【难度系数】
0.6
