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五、学以致用·主题写作实战演练
[2024 河北中考]假定英语课上你们正在就“课堂表现”开展同伴互评活动,下面是你的同伴张军的自我课堂表现记录(Class Record)。请你根据记录内容写一篇短文,总结他五个方面的课堂表现并进行简单评价，然后就他需要改进的两个方面提出建议。
注意:1. 短文中不得出现真实的人名和校名；
2. 词数80～100(开头已给出,不计入总词数)。
Well done, Zhang Jun! You listened to the teacher carefully in class and
[2024 河北中考]假定英语课上你们正在就“课堂表现”开展同伴互评活动,下面是你的同伴张军的自我课堂表现记录(Class Record)。请你根据记录内容写一篇短文,总结他五个方面的课堂表现并进行简单评价，然后就他需要改进的两个方面提出建议。
注意:1. 短文中不得出现真实的人名和校名；
2. 词数80～100(开头已给出,不计入总词数)。
Well done, Zhang Jun! You listened to the teacher carefully in class and
answered questions actively. You also worked very well in your group. That's really good.
However, you didn't ask any questions in class. You didn't take notes, either. So we couldn't know if you needed help. In my opinion, you'd better try to ask questions in class. That will make you think more deeply.
Take notes when necessary, especially the key points. They're helpful when you go over the lesson after class.
Try harder and you will be a better learner!
答案
写作思路 主题 人与自我——勤学善思
语篇类型 说明文
时态和人称 时态：一般过去时、一般现在时
人称：第二人称
要点 1.肯定好的表现
2.指出不好的表现并提出建议
3.提出鼓励
Well done, Zhang Jun! You listened to the teacher carefully in class and answered questions actively. You also worked very well in your group. That's really good.
However, you didn't ask any questions in class. You didn't take notes, either. So we couldn't know if you needed help. In my opinion, you'd better try to ask questions in class. That will make you think more deeply. Take notes when necessary, especially the key points. They're helpful when you go over the lesson after class.
Try harder and you will be a better learner!
解析
【分析】
首先明确题目要求：需根据张军的课堂记录总结5项表现、评价并提建议，同时遵循写作思路（肯定优点、指出不足提建议、鼓励），注意时态（课堂表现用一般过去时，建议用一般现在时）、人称（第二人称）、词数（80-100）及不能出现真实信息。解题时先梳理记录内容：优点为认真听课、积极答问题、小组表现好；不足为未提问、未记笔记，再按写作结构组织语言，确保要点齐全、符合要求。
【解析】
1. 承接开头，先肯定张军的优点：You listened to the teacher carefully in class and answered questions actively. You also worked very well in your group. That's really good.
2. 转折说明不足及影响：However, you didn't ask any questions in class. You didn't take notes, either. So we couldn't know if you needed help.
3. 针对不足提具体建议：In my opinion, you'd better try to ask questions in class. That will make you think more deeply. Take notes when necessary, especially the key points. They're helpful when you go over the lesson after class.
4. 结尾鼓励：Try harder and you will be a better learner!
【答案】
Well done, Zhang Jun! You listened to the teacher carefully in class and answered questions actively. You also worked very well in your group. That's really good.
However, you didn't ask any questions in class. You didn't take notes, either. So we couldn't know if you needed help. In my opinion, you'd better try to ask questions in class. That will make you think more deeply. Take notes when necessary, especially the key points. They're helpful when you go over the lesson after class.
Try harder and you will be a better learner!
【知识点】
英语写作、应用文写作
【点评】
本文紧扣题目要求，准确梳理张军的课堂表现，结构清晰，涵盖肯定优点、指出不足提建议、鼓励三个核心要点，语言通顺得体，符合中考英语写作的评分标准，要点齐全。
【难度系数】
0.6
首先明确题目要求：需根据张军的课堂记录总结5项表现、评价并提建议，同时遵循写作思路（肯定优点、指出不足提建议、鼓励），注意时态（课堂表现用一般过去时，建议用一般现在时）、人称（第二人称）、词数（80-100）及不能出现真实信息。解题时先梳理记录内容：优点为认真听课、积极答问题、小组表现好；不足为未提问、未记笔记，再按写作结构组织语言，确保要点齐全、符合要求。
【解析】
1. 承接开头，先肯定张军的优点：You listened to the teacher carefully in class and answered questions actively. You also worked very well in your group. That's really good.
2. 转折说明不足及影响：However, you didn't ask any questions in class. You didn't take notes, either. So we couldn't know if you needed help.
3. 针对不足提具体建议：In my opinion, you'd better try to ask questions in class. That will make you think more deeply. Take notes when necessary, especially the key points. They're helpful when you go over the lesson after class.
4. 结尾鼓励：Try harder and you will be a better learner!
【答案】
Well done, Zhang Jun! You listened to the teacher carefully in class and answered questions actively. You also worked very well in your group. That's really good.
However, you didn't ask any questions in class. You didn't take notes, either. So we couldn't know if you needed help. In my opinion, you'd better try to ask questions in class. That will make you think more deeply. Take notes when necessary, especially the key points. They're helpful when you go over the lesson after class.
Try harder and you will be a better learner!
【知识点】
英语写作、应用文写作
【点评】
本文紧扣题目要求，准确梳理张军的课堂表现，结构清晰，涵盖肯定优点、指出不足提建议、鼓励三个核心要点，语言通顺得体，符合中考英语写作的评分标准，要点齐全。
【难度系数】
0.6
