登录
二、实战演练
你校英文报现在正在开展以"My Volunteering Experience"为主题的征文活动。假设你是李华,请根据导图中的提示,用英文撰写一篇短文投稿,分享你最难忘的一次志愿服务经历。
注意:
1.短文中须包含导图中的全部信息,请增加细节以使文章完整;
2.文中不能出现真实姓名和学校名称;
3.词数:80~100。(开头已给出,不计入总词数)
My Volunteering Experience
Do you have the experience of helping others? I do. Let me share my story with you.
你校英文报现在正在开展以"My Volunteering Experience"为主题的征文活动。假设你是李华,请根据导图中的提示,用英文撰写一篇短文投稿,分享你最难忘的一次志愿服务经历。
注意:
1.短文中须包含导图中的全部信息,请增加细节以使文章完整;
2.文中不能出现真实姓名和学校名称;
3.词数:80~100。(开头已给出,不计入总词数)
My Volunteering Experience
Do you have the experience of helping others? I do. Let me share my story with you.
All the volunteers in our school took part in this activity last Saturday afternoon. As soon as we got to the old people's home, people there gave us a warm welcome. The elderly were very excited to see us. We brought some flowers and fruit to them.
Then, we cleaned their rooms and swept the floor for them. After that, some of us took a walk with them, chatted with them and some of us played games with them.
When it was time for us to leave, they were thankful for our kindness and they felt kind of sad.
I promise to myself that I will go to see them whenever I'm free. We should care for the elderly and respect them.
答案
One possible version:
My Volunteering Experience
Do you have the experience of helping others? I
do. Let me share my story with you.
All the volunteers in our school took part in this
activity last Saturday afternoon. As soon as we got
to the old people's home, people there gave us a
warm welcome. The elderly were very excited to see
us. We brought some flowers and fruit to them.
Then, we cleaned their rooms and swept the floor
for them. After that, some of us took a walk with
them, chatted with them and some of us played
games with them. When it was time for us to leave,
they were thankful for our kindness and they felt
kind of sad.
I promise to myself that I will go to see them
whenever I'm free. We should care for the elderly
and respect them.
My Volunteering Experience
Do you have the experience of helping others? I
do. Let me share my story with you.
All the volunteers in our school took part in this
activity last Saturday afternoon. As soon as we got
to the old people's home, people there gave us a
warm welcome. The elderly were very excited to see
us. We brought some flowers and fruit to them.
Then, we cleaned their rooms and swept the floor
for them. After that, some of us took a walk with
them, chatted with them and some of us played
games with them. When it was time for us to leave,
they were thankful for our kindness and they felt
kind of sad.
I promise to myself that I will go to see them
whenever I'm free. We should care for the elderly
and respect them.
解析
【分析】
首先拿到题目先明确写作要求：这是一篇记叙类的志愿主题征文，首先要梳理导图给出的所有必填信息点：时间是上周六下午，地点是养老院，活动包含打扫老人房间、和老人玩游戏，最后还要补充合理细节、写出自己的活动感受。首先确定全文主体时态为一般过去时，因为描述的是已经发生的过往经历，人称使用第一人称。接下来搭建行文逻辑：先承接题目给出的开头，交代事件的基本背景，再按时间顺序描述当天在养老院的具体活动，最后收尾抒发自己的感悟，确保所有导图信息都不遗漏，同时补充带小礼物、陪老人聊天散步这类符合场景的细节，让文章流畅自然，控制词数在要求区间内，也不要出现真实个人和学校信息。
【解析】
1. 文体与时态确定：本文是叙事类英语短文，描述过去发生的志愿活动，主体使用一般过去时，以第一人称展开叙述。
2. 结构分层写作：
① 承接给定开头，先交代事件背景：上周六下午我和学校的其他志愿者一同前往养老院开展志愿活动，点明导图给出的时间和地点要素。
② 按活动先后顺序补充细节：到达后受到老人的欢迎，我们带去了鲜花和水果，之后帮老人打扫房间，之后陪老人玩游戏、散步聊天，完整覆盖导图给出的两项核心活动，补充的细节让内容更饱满。
③ 最后收尾抒发感受：离开时老人十分感谢我们，我也意识到要关爱尊重老年人，之后有空还会常来看望他们，完成感受部分的内容。
3. 通读检查：确认所有导图信息都已包含，没有出现真实个人、学校信息，词数符合要求，时态统一没有语法错误。
【答案】
One possible version:
My Volunteering Experience
Do you have the experience of helping others? I do. Let me share my story with you.
All the volunteers in our school took part in this activity last Saturday afternoon. As soon as we got to the old people's home, people there gave us a warm welcome. The elderly were very excited to see us. We brought some flowers and fruit to them. Then, we cleaned their rooms and swept the floor for them. After that, some of us took a walk with them, chatted with them and some of us played games with them. When it was time for us to leave, they were thankful for our kindness and they felt kind of sad.
I promise to myself that I will go to see them whenever I'm free. We should care for the elderly and respect them.
【知识点】
一般过去时应用，英语记叙文写作，话题作文信息整合
【点评】
本题是初中阶段非常典型的校园志愿主题写作题，难度适中，核心要求是完整覆盖导图给出的所有信息点，再补充符合场景的合理细节让行文连贯，最后抒发真实的活动感悟，学生只要注意叙事时态统一，避免基础语法错误，很容易写出符合要求的短文，平时多积累这类公益活动类的常用表达，就能进一步提升作文的流畅度和得分档次。
【难度系数】
0.7
首先拿到题目先明确写作要求：这是一篇记叙类的志愿主题征文，首先要梳理导图给出的所有必填信息点：时间是上周六下午，地点是养老院，活动包含打扫老人房间、和老人玩游戏，最后还要补充合理细节、写出自己的活动感受。首先确定全文主体时态为一般过去时，因为描述的是已经发生的过往经历，人称使用第一人称。接下来搭建行文逻辑：先承接题目给出的开头，交代事件的基本背景，再按时间顺序描述当天在养老院的具体活动，最后收尾抒发自己的感悟，确保所有导图信息都不遗漏，同时补充带小礼物、陪老人聊天散步这类符合场景的细节，让文章流畅自然，控制词数在要求区间内，也不要出现真实个人和学校信息。
【解析】
1. 文体与时态确定：本文是叙事类英语短文，描述过去发生的志愿活动，主体使用一般过去时，以第一人称展开叙述。
2. 结构分层写作：
① 承接给定开头，先交代事件背景：上周六下午我和学校的其他志愿者一同前往养老院开展志愿活动，点明导图给出的时间和地点要素。
② 按活动先后顺序补充细节：到达后受到老人的欢迎，我们带去了鲜花和水果，之后帮老人打扫房间，之后陪老人玩游戏、散步聊天，完整覆盖导图给出的两项核心活动，补充的细节让内容更饱满。
③ 最后收尾抒发感受：离开时老人十分感谢我们，我也意识到要关爱尊重老年人，之后有空还会常来看望他们，完成感受部分的内容。
3. 通读检查：确认所有导图信息都已包含，没有出现真实个人、学校信息，词数符合要求，时态统一没有语法错误。
【答案】
One possible version:
My Volunteering Experience
Do you have the experience of helping others? I do. Let me share my story with you.
All the volunteers in our school took part in this activity last Saturday afternoon. As soon as we got to the old people's home, people there gave us a warm welcome. The elderly were very excited to see us. We brought some flowers and fruit to them. Then, we cleaned their rooms and swept the floor for them. After that, some of us took a walk with them, chatted with them and some of us played games with them. When it was time for us to leave, they were thankful for our kindness and they felt kind of sad.
I promise to myself that I will go to see them whenever I'm free. We should care for the elderly and respect them.
【知识点】
一般过去时应用，英语记叙文写作，话题作文信息整合
【点评】
本题是初中阶段非常典型的校园志愿主题写作题，难度适中，核心要求是完整覆盖导图给出的所有信息点，再补充符合场景的合理细节让行文连贯，最后抒发真实的活动感悟，学生只要注意叙事时态统一，避免基础语法错误，很容易写出符合要求的短文，平时多积累这类公益活动类的常用表达，就能进一步提升作文的流畅度和得分档次。
【难度系数】
0.7
