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九、书面表达(20 分)
在人生的长河中,我们总能邂逅几位挚友。他们如同夜空中闪亮的星星,照亮我们的世界。请你根据下面的思维导图,写一篇英语短文来介绍你的好朋友。
要求:1. 包含思维导图提供的所有要点;2. 可酌情增加内容,以使文章连贯;3. 不少于 80 词;4. 不能出现真实的校名和人名。
My Good Friend
在人生的长河中,我们总能邂逅几位挚友。他们如同夜空中闪亮的星星,照亮我们的世界。请你根据下面的思维导图,写一篇英语短文来介绍你的好朋友。
要求:1. 包含思维导图提供的所有要点;2. 可酌情增加内容,以使文章连贯;3. 不少于 80 词;4. 不能出现真实的校名和人名。
My Good Friend
答案
写作指导
[审题步骤]
①体裁:记叙文。②时态:主要为一般现在时和一般过去时。③提示:写作要点已给出,注意不要遗漏提示中的要点,适当添加细节,并突出写作重点。
[写作步骤]
第一步,介绍自己好朋友的名字、外貌和性格;第二步,具体介绍好朋友的兴趣爱好和理想的学校;第三步,书写结语。
[词句积累]
①feel bored 感到无聊 ②like doing sth 喜欢做某事
③have a good time 玩得开心 ④such as 例如
⑤When I am with him, I will never feel bored because he's a humorous boy.(when 引导时间状语从句;because 引导原因状语从句)
⑥He once told me that his ideal school must have many interesting subjects, such as Computer Science, PE and AI courses.(that 引导宾语从句)
One possible version:
My Good Friend
My good friend is Simon. He looks tall and strong. When I am with him, I'll never feel bored because he's a humorous boy.
He likes doing DIY and travelling. Once, he put in a light in his bedroom successfully. Last week, he went to Beijing World Park and had a good time with his classmates. There were so many famous landmarks from all over the world in the park, which were built in smaller size. He once told me that his ideal school must have many interesting subjects, such as Computer Science, PE and AI courses.
I like studying and playing with my good friend. Can you tell me something about your good friend?
[审题步骤]
①体裁:记叙文。②时态:主要为一般现在时和一般过去时。③提示:写作要点已给出,注意不要遗漏提示中的要点,适当添加细节,并突出写作重点。
[写作步骤]
第一步,介绍自己好朋友的名字、外貌和性格;第二步,具体介绍好朋友的兴趣爱好和理想的学校;第三步,书写结语。
[词句积累]
①feel bored 感到无聊 ②like doing sth 喜欢做某事
③have a good time 玩得开心 ④such as 例如
⑤When I am with him, I will never feel bored because he's a humorous boy.(when 引导时间状语从句;because 引导原因状语从句)
⑥He once told me that his ideal school must have many interesting subjects, such as Computer Science, PE and AI courses.(that 引导宾语从句)
One possible version:
My Good Friend
My good friend is Simon. He looks tall and strong. When I am with him, I'll never feel bored because he's a humorous boy.
He likes doing DIY and travelling. Once, he put in a light in his bedroom successfully. Last week, he went to Beijing World Park and had a good time with his classmates. There were so many famous landmarks from all over the world in the park, which were built in smaller size. He once told me that his ideal school must have many interesting subjects, such as Computer Science, PE and AI courses.
I like studying and playing with my good friend. Can you tell me something about your good friend?
解析
【分析】
拿到这道书面表达题，首先先明确核心要求：必须覆盖思维导图的所有要点，也就是外貌looks、性格characteristics、爱好hobbies（包含DIY装灯、游览北京世界公园两个子要点）、理想学校ideal school，同时满足不少于80词、不出现真实校名人名的规则。接下来梳理写作思路：第一步开篇引出好友，先介绍他的外貌特征，再补充性格特点，对应前两个核心要点；第二步主体部分先围绕两个爱好展开，补充DIY装灯、去北京世界公园游玩的具体经历，把爱好相关的子要点自然融入；第三步接着介绍他理想学校的相关设定，覆盖ideal school要点；最后收尾抒发和好友相处的感受，让文章结构完整连贯。时态上介绍人物常态用一般现在时，描述过去的经历用一般过去时，保证语法准确。
【解析】
我们可以按照四步完成写作：
1. 开篇引入：点明好友身份，描述他的外貌，再介绍他幽默的性格，完成looks和characteristics两个要点的书写，让读者快速了解人物基本形象。
2. 爱好部分展开：先点明他的两个爱好是DIY和旅行，分别补充细节：DIY方向写他曾经成功在自己卧室安装了一盏灯；旅行方向写他上周和同学去北京世界公园游玩，看到了世界各地按比例缩小的著名地标，玩得十分开心，完整覆盖hobbies下的两个子要点。
3. 理想学校部分书写：写出他理想中的学校设置很多趣味特色课程，比如计算机、体育、人工智能课程，完成ideal school要点。
4. 结尾收尾：简单表达自己很喜欢和好友一同学习玩耍的感受，行文自然流畅，总字数远超80词，符合所有写作规则。
【答案】
My Good Friend
My good friend is Simon. He looks tall and strong. When I am with him, I'll never feel bored because he's a humorous boy.
He likes doing DIY and travelling. Once, he put in a light in his bedroom successfully. Last week, he went to Beijing World Park and had a good time with his classmates. There were so many famous landmarks from all over the world in the park, which were built in smaller size. He once told me that his ideal school must have many interesting subjects, such as Computer Science, PE and AI courses.
I like studying and playing with my good friend. Can you tell me something about your good friend?
【知识点】
英语记叙文写作，一般现在时，宾语从句
【点评】
这篇参考范文完整覆盖了思维导图给出的全部要点，没有遗漏任何指定信息，行文逻辑层层递进，从人物外貌性格到爱好经历再到理想学校过渡自然，还合理补充了游玩细节、特色课程举例等内容让文章更饱满生动，同时灵活运用了时间状语从句、原因状语从句、宾语从句等高分句式，语法准确，字数达标，完全符合题目的各项写作要求。同学们写作时可以先把所有要求的要点逐一列出来，避免遗漏，再适当补充细节让内容不生硬。
【难度系数】
0.6
拿到这道书面表达题，首先先明确核心要求：必须覆盖思维导图的所有要点，也就是外貌looks、性格characteristics、爱好hobbies（包含DIY装灯、游览北京世界公园两个子要点）、理想学校ideal school，同时满足不少于80词、不出现真实校名人名的规则。接下来梳理写作思路：第一步开篇引出好友，先介绍他的外貌特征，再补充性格特点，对应前两个核心要点；第二步主体部分先围绕两个爱好展开，补充DIY装灯、去北京世界公园游玩的具体经历，把爱好相关的子要点自然融入；第三步接着介绍他理想学校的相关设定，覆盖ideal school要点；最后收尾抒发和好友相处的感受，让文章结构完整连贯。时态上介绍人物常态用一般现在时，描述过去的经历用一般过去时，保证语法准确。
【解析】
我们可以按照四步完成写作：
1. 开篇引入：点明好友身份，描述他的外貌，再介绍他幽默的性格，完成looks和characteristics两个要点的书写，让读者快速了解人物基本形象。
2. 爱好部分展开：先点明他的两个爱好是DIY和旅行，分别补充细节：DIY方向写他曾经成功在自己卧室安装了一盏灯；旅行方向写他上周和同学去北京世界公园游玩，看到了世界各地按比例缩小的著名地标，玩得十分开心，完整覆盖hobbies下的两个子要点。
3. 理想学校部分书写：写出他理想中的学校设置很多趣味特色课程，比如计算机、体育、人工智能课程，完成ideal school要点。
4. 结尾收尾：简单表达自己很喜欢和好友一同学习玩耍的感受，行文自然流畅，总字数远超80词，符合所有写作规则。
【答案】
My Good Friend
My good friend is Simon. He looks tall and strong. When I am with him, I'll never feel bored because he's a humorous boy.
He likes doing DIY and travelling. Once, he put in a light in his bedroom successfully. Last week, he went to Beijing World Park and had a good time with his classmates. There were so many famous landmarks from all over the world in the park, which were built in smaller size. He once told me that his ideal school must have many interesting subjects, such as Computer Science, PE and AI courses.
I like studying and playing with my good friend. Can you tell me something about your good friend?
【知识点】
英语记叙文写作，一般现在时，宾语从句
【点评】
这篇参考范文完整覆盖了思维导图给出的全部要点，没有遗漏任何指定信息，行文逻辑层层递进，从人物外貌性格到爱好经历再到理想学校过渡自然，还合理补充了游玩细节、特色课程举例等内容让文章更饱满生动，同时灵活运用了时间状语从句、原因状语从句、宾语从句等高分句式，语法准确，字数达标，完全符合题目的各项写作要求。同学们写作时可以先把所有要求的要点逐一列出来，避免遗漏，再适当补充细节让内容不生硬。
【难度系数】
0.6
