Ⅲ. 书面表达
假设你是班长,你所在的班级组织了一次前往"阳光敬老院"(Sunshine nursing house)的"班级帮助日"活动。请你根据以下提示,记述这次活动的经过和你的感受。
(1) 上周六,我们班级组织了一次前往"阳光敬老院"的志愿者活动。
(2) 起初,有些同学因为害羞,不敢在老人们面前表演节目;我们也担心时间不够,无法完成所有计划。
(3) 老师鼓励大家真诚的陪伴比完美的表演更重要。同学们也开始互相加油,勇敢地站了出来。
(4) 活动结束时,当我们看到老人们脸上洋溢的笑容时,内心充满了成就感。
(5) 你觉得这次活动带来了什么?它对你和班级同学有什么意义?
参考词汇:真诚的陪伴 genuine companionship
写作要求:
(1) 词数:80—100。
(2) 内容连贯,逻辑清晰。
A Meaningful Volunteer Day
假设你是班长,你所在的班级组织了一次前往"阳光敬老院"(Sunshine nursing house)的"班级帮助日"活动。请你根据以下提示,记述这次活动的经过和你的感受。
(1) 上周六,我们班级组织了一次前往"阳光敬老院"的志愿者活动。
(2) 起初,有些同学因为害羞,不敢在老人们面前表演节目;我们也担心时间不够,无法完成所有计划。
(3) 老师鼓励大家真诚的陪伴比完美的表演更重要。同学们也开始互相加油,勇敢地站了出来。
(4) 活动结束时,当我们看到老人们脸上洋溢的笑容时,内心充满了成就感。
(5) 你觉得这次活动带来了什么?它对你和班级同学有什么意义?
参考词汇:真诚的陪伴 genuine companionship
写作要求:
(1) 词数:80—100。
(2) 内容连贯,逻辑清晰。
A Meaningful Volunteer Day
答案
Ⅲ. (One possible version)
A Meaningful Volunteer Day
Last Saturday, our class visited the Sunshine
Nursing Home.
At first, it was difficult for some shy classmates to
perform, and the work was by no means easy for
everyone. Our teacher then encouraged us. She said
genuine companionship mattered more than a perfect
show. So, we cheered each other on and bravely stepped
up. Finally, the activity ended successfully. Seeing the
big smiles on the grandparents' faces, we felt a strong
sense of achievement.
I think this day taught us the true meaning of care
and brought our class closer together. We can learn the
importance of care and kindness from this experience.
A Meaningful Volunteer Day
Last Saturday, our class visited the Sunshine
Nursing Home.
At first, it was difficult for some shy classmates to
perform, and the work was by no means easy for
everyone. Our teacher then encouraged us. She said
genuine companionship mattered more than a perfect
show. So, we cheered each other on and bravely stepped
up. Finally, the activity ended successfully. Seeing the
big smiles on the grandparents' faces, we felt a strong
sense of achievement.
I think this day taught us the true meaning of care
and brought our class closer together. We can learn the
importance of care and kindness from this experience.
解析
【分析】
拿到这道书面表达题,首先第一步先审题:明确体裁是记述班级志愿活动的记叙文,人称使用第一人称,核心时态为一般过去时,词数要求80-100词,需要覆盖题干给出的全部5个提示要点。接下来梳理叙事逻辑,按照事件发展的时间线排布内容:首先开篇直接点明上周六去阳光敬老院开展志愿活动的核心事件,接着写活动初期遇到的两个困难,再写老师的鼓励和同学们的转变,之后写活动结束看到老人笑容的成就感,最后补充活动的意义和个人感悟,串联所有要点的同时注意语句衔接自然,用上指定参考词汇,最后检查词数和语法错误,确保符合写作要求。
【解析】
1. 开篇部分:直接开门见山交代活动的时间(Last Saturday)、参与主体(our class)、地点事件(visited the Sunshine Nursing Home),快速切入主题。
2. 主体叙事部分:按照事件推进顺序,先点明活动初期遇到的两个问题:部分害羞的同学不敢表演、大家担心没法完成全部计划,接着引出老师的鼓励,点明题干给出的核心提示“真诚的陪伴比完美的表演更重要”,随后写同学们互相加油、勇敢参与,最后写活动结束时看到老人们的笑容,大家充满成就感,完整覆盖所有叙事类提示要点。
3. 收尾感悟部分:紧扣题干第5点要求,点明本次活动的意义:既让大家体会到关爱他人的真正含义,也拉近了班级同学的距离,传递出正向的活动价值。
全文时态统一为一般过去时,衔接自然,词数控制在要求范围内,没有语法错误。
【答案】
A Meaningful Volunteer Day
Last Saturday, our class visited the Sunshine Nursing Home.
At first, it was difficult for some shy classmates to perform, and the work was by no means easy for everyone. Our teacher then encouraged us. She said genuine companionship mattered more than a perfect show. So, we cheered each other on and bravely stepped up. Finally, the activity ended successfully. Seeing the big smiles on the grandparents' faces, we felt a strong sense of achievement.
I think this day taught us the true meaning of care and brought our class closer together. We can learn the importance of care and kindness from this experience.
【知识点】
英语记叙文写作,一般过去时运用,要点类作文写作
【点评】
本篇范文完全覆盖了题干给出的全部提示信息,叙事逻辑清晰,严格按照活动开展的时间顺序推进内容,时态使用准确规范,正确使用了指定参考词汇genuine companionship,词数符合80-100的要求,结尾的感悟贴合活动主题,语句简洁流畅,没有冗余表达,是符合评分标准的优秀范文。同学们写作时要注意优先覆盖所有提示要点,同时把控好词数,避免出现时态混乱、要点遗漏的失分问题。
【难度系数】
0.6
拿到这道书面表达题,首先第一步先审题:明确体裁是记述班级志愿活动的记叙文,人称使用第一人称,核心时态为一般过去时,词数要求80-100词,需要覆盖题干给出的全部5个提示要点。接下来梳理叙事逻辑,按照事件发展的时间线排布内容:首先开篇直接点明上周六去阳光敬老院开展志愿活动的核心事件,接着写活动初期遇到的两个困难,再写老师的鼓励和同学们的转变,之后写活动结束看到老人笑容的成就感,最后补充活动的意义和个人感悟,串联所有要点的同时注意语句衔接自然,用上指定参考词汇,最后检查词数和语法错误,确保符合写作要求。
【解析】
1. 开篇部分:直接开门见山交代活动的时间(Last Saturday)、参与主体(our class)、地点事件(visited the Sunshine Nursing Home),快速切入主题。
2. 主体叙事部分:按照事件推进顺序,先点明活动初期遇到的两个问题:部分害羞的同学不敢表演、大家担心没法完成全部计划,接着引出老师的鼓励,点明题干给出的核心提示“真诚的陪伴比完美的表演更重要”,随后写同学们互相加油、勇敢参与,最后写活动结束时看到老人们的笑容,大家充满成就感,完整覆盖所有叙事类提示要点。
3. 收尾感悟部分:紧扣题干第5点要求,点明本次活动的意义:既让大家体会到关爱他人的真正含义,也拉近了班级同学的距离,传递出正向的活动价值。
全文时态统一为一般过去时,衔接自然,词数控制在要求范围内,没有语法错误。
【答案】
A Meaningful Volunteer Day
Last Saturday, our class visited the Sunshine Nursing Home.
At first, it was difficult for some shy classmates to perform, and the work was by no means easy for everyone. Our teacher then encouraged us. She said genuine companionship mattered more than a perfect show. So, we cheered each other on and bravely stepped up. Finally, the activity ended successfully. Seeing the big smiles on the grandparents' faces, we felt a strong sense of achievement.
I think this day taught us the true meaning of care and brought our class closer together. We can learn the importance of care and kindness from this experience.
【知识点】
英语记叙文写作,一般过去时运用,要点类作文写作
【点评】
本篇范文完全覆盖了题干给出的全部提示信息,叙事逻辑清晰,严格按照活动开展的时间顺序推进内容,时态使用准确规范,正确使用了指定参考词汇genuine companionship,词数符合80-100的要求,结尾的感悟贴合活动主题,语句简洁流畅,没有冗余表达,是符合评分标准的优秀范文。同学们写作时要注意优先覆盖所有提示要点,同时把控好词数,避免出现时态混乱、要点遗漏的失分问题。
【难度系数】
0.6
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