佳作赏析>>
你通常是如何庆祝自己的生日的?今年你想怎么庆祝?假如你是李莉,请你根据下面的提示写一篇英语短文,向学校的英语报刊投稿。100词左右。
提示:1. 通常吃蛋糕、吃面条、举办生日聚会、拍照;2. 今年想和父母一起去北京天安门广场看升国旗,使自己更加热爱伟大的祖国。
你通常是如何庆祝自己的生日的?今年你想怎么庆祝?假如你是李莉,请你根据下面的提示写一篇英语短文,向学校的英语报刊投稿。100词左右。
提示:1. 通常吃蛋糕、吃面条、举办生日聚会、拍照;2. 今年想和父母一起去北京天安门广场看升国旗,使自己更加热爱伟大的祖国。
答案
My Birthday
Dear editors,
I'm Li Li. I'd like to share my birthday stories with you.
Usually I have a happy birthday. My family cook long noodles for me and we eat a sweet birthday cake. I also hold a small birthday party at home, my friends come to the party, we play interesting games and take lots of lovely photos together.
This year I want to have a special birthday. I plan to go to Tian'anmen Square in Beijing with my parents to watch the national flag go up. I think this experience will make me love our great motherland more.
Dear editors,
I'm Li Li. I'd like to share my birthday stories with you.
Usually I have a happy birthday. My family cook long noodles for me and we eat a sweet birthday cake. I also hold a small birthday party at home, my friends come to the party, we play interesting games and take lots of lovely photos together.
This year I want to have a special birthday. I plan to go to Tian'anmen Square in Beijing with my parents to watch the national flag go up. I think this experience will make me love our great motherland more.
解析
【分析】
首先明确写作身份为李莉,投稿对象是学校英语报刊,需用英语短文完成。写作时要分两部分展开:一是通常的生日庆祝方式,需覆盖提示中的吃面条、吃蛋糕、举办聚会、拍照;二是今年的特别计划,对应提示的和父母去北京天安门看升国旗,表达热爱祖国的情感。开头礼貌称呼编辑,整体控制词数在100左右,语言符合英语表达习惯。
【解析】
1. 开头:礼貌称呼编辑,介绍自己是李莉,说明要分享生日故事;
2. 通常生日部分:结合提示,写家人做长寿面、吃生日蛋糕,在家办小聚会,和朋友玩游戏、拍照;
3. 今年计划部分:写和父母去北京天安门看升国旗,表达这会让自己更热爱祖国;
4. 调整语言确保流畅,词数符合要求。
【答案】
My Birthday
Dear editors,
I'm Li Li. I'd like to share my birthday stories with you.
Usually I have a happy birthday. My family cook long noodles for me and we eat a sweet birthday cake. I also hold a small birthday party at home, my friends come to the party, we play interesting games and take lots of lovely photos together.
This year I want to have a special birthday. I plan to go to Tian'anmen Square in Beijing with my parents to watch the national flag go up. I think this experience will make me love our great motherland more.
【知识点】
英语应用文写作;提示类英语短文写作
【点评】
本文紧扣题目提示,结构清晰,分为通常生日和今年计划两部分,内容积极向上,语言通顺,符合投稿要求,准确传达了生日相关的内容和情感。
【难度系数】
0.7
首先明确写作身份为李莉,投稿对象是学校英语报刊,需用英语短文完成。写作时要分两部分展开:一是通常的生日庆祝方式,需覆盖提示中的吃面条、吃蛋糕、举办聚会、拍照;二是今年的特别计划,对应提示的和父母去北京天安门看升国旗,表达热爱祖国的情感。开头礼貌称呼编辑,整体控制词数在100左右,语言符合英语表达习惯。
【解析】
1. 开头:礼貌称呼编辑,介绍自己是李莉,说明要分享生日故事;
2. 通常生日部分:结合提示,写家人做长寿面、吃生日蛋糕,在家办小聚会,和朋友玩游戏、拍照;
3. 今年计划部分:写和父母去北京天安门看升国旗,表达这会让自己更热爱祖国;
4. 调整语言确保流畅,词数符合要求。
【答案】
My Birthday
Dear editors,
I'm Li Li. I'd like to share my birthday stories with you.
Usually I have a happy birthday. My family cook long noodles for me and we eat a sweet birthday cake. I also hold a small birthday party at home, my friends come to the party, we play interesting games and take lots of lovely photos together.
This year I want to have a special birthday. I plan to go to Tian'anmen Square in Beijing with my parents to watch the national flag go up. I think this experience will make me love our great motherland more.
【知识点】
英语应用文写作;提示类英语短文写作
【点评】
本文紧扣题目提示,结构清晰,分为通常生日和今年计划两部分,内容积极向上,语言通顺,符合投稿要求,准确传达了生日相关的内容和情感。
【难度系数】
0.7
素材积累>>
[开头句]
1. My birthday is on 13th June. (点明日期)
2. I usually have a party with my friends to celebrate. (庆祝形式)
3. It's a special day of the year for me. (点明意义)
[中间句]
1. Everyone sings the “Happy Birthday” song, and then I make a wish and blow out the candles. (庆祝活动)
2. Long noodles are a symbol of long life. (点明意义)
3. The room is full of laughter and joy. (氛围描写)
[结尾句]
1. When is your birthday? How do you celebrate it? (互动提问)
2. It is a wonderful birthday and I will never forget it. (总结感受)
[名言警句]
1. The roses in her hand, the flavour in mine. 赠人玫瑰,手有余香。
2. Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again. 今天是你经历过最老的一天,也是你未来最年轻的一天。
写作演练>>
假如你是王琳,你英国的笔友Helen的生日是六月一日,她想让你帮忙策划一个有意义的生日活动。请你根据下面的提示,给她回一封电子邮件。80词左右。
提示:买些礼物去附近的一所小学,和孩子们一起庆祝节日,并拍一些照片留作纪念。
[思路点拨]
1. 思路:① 重点介绍如何过一个有意义的生日;② 根据提示,阐述活动的内容及其意义,让文章层次分明,逻辑性强。2. 时态:一般现在时。3. 人称:以第二人称为主。
[写作提纲]

[妙笔生花]
(更多精彩作文素材见“强基手册”)
[开头句]
1. My birthday is on 13th June. (点明日期)
2. I usually have a party with my friends to celebrate. (庆祝形式)
3. It's a special day of the year for me. (点明意义)
[中间句]
1. Everyone sings the “Happy Birthday” song, and then I make a wish and blow out the candles. (庆祝活动)
2. Long noodles are a symbol of long life. (点明意义)
3. The room is full of laughter and joy. (氛围描写)
[结尾句]
1. When is your birthday? How do you celebrate it? (互动提问)
2. It is a wonderful birthday and I will never forget it. (总结感受)
[名言警句]
1. The roses in her hand, the flavour in mine. 赠人玫瑰,手有余香。
2. Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again. 今天是你经历过最老的一天,也是你未来最年轻的一天。
写作演练>>
假如你是王琳,你英国的笔友Helen的生日是六月一日,她想让你帮忙策划一个有意义的生日活动。请你根据下面的提示,给她回一封电子邮件。80词左右。
提示:买些礼物去附近的一所小学,和孩子们一起庆祝节日,并拍一些照片留作纪念。
[思路点拨]
1. 思路:① 重点介绍如何过一个有意义的生日;② 根据提示,阐述活动的内容及其意义,让文章层次分明,逻辑性强。2. 时态:一般现在时。3. 人称:以第二人称为主。
[写作提纲]
[妙笔生花]
(更多精彩作文素材见“强基手册”)
答案
One possible version:
Dear Helen,
I'm glad to get your email. I know you want to have a meaningful birthday. Here is my idea.
As your birthday is the same day as Children's Day, why not celebrate it with the children in a nearby primary school? You can buy some gifts and visit the school. You can tell them stories about the special day. It is also meaningful for you to take some photos with the children.
I hope you have a meaningful birthday.
Best wishes!
Wang Lin
Dear Helen,
I'm glad to get your email. I know you want to have a meaningful birthday. Here is my idea.
As your birthday is the same day as Children's Day, why not celebrate it with the children in a nearby primary school? You can buy some gifts and visit the school. You can tell them stories about the special day. It is also meaningful for you to take some photos with the children.
I hope you have a meaningful birthday.
Best wishes!
Wang Lin
解析
【分析】
本题要求以王琳的身份给英国笔友Helen回电子邮件,帮她策划有意义的生日。写作需遵循“点明主题-具体介绍活动-美好祝愿”的结构,结合Helen的生日是六一儿童节的特点,紧扣提示内容设计具体活动,使用一般现在时、第二人称,符合邮件格式,确保内容有意义、逻辑清晰。
【解析】
1. 开头:问候并点明主题,说明知道Helen想过有意义的生日;
2. 中间:结合Helen生日与儿童节重合的特点,具体介绍活动:买礼物去附近小学、给孩子讲生日相关故事、和孩子拍照留纪念,体现活动的意义;
3. 结尾:表达对Helen的生日祝愿,用标准邮件结尾格式。全文符合字数要求,时态、人称正确,结构清晰。
【答案】
One possible version:
Dear Helen,
I'm glad to get your email. I know you want to have a meaningful birthday. Here is my idea.
As your birthday is the same day as Children's Day, why not celebrate it with the children in a nearby primary school? You can buy some gifts and visit the school. You can tell them stories about the special day. It is also meaningful for you to take some photos with the children.
I hope you have a meaningful birthday.
Best wishes!
Wang Lin
【知识点】
英语电子邮件写作;一般现在时运用
【点评】
本文紧扣“有意义的生日”主题,结构清晰完整,结合生日与儿童节的特点设计活动,内容具体且富有意义,符合邮件格式和写作要求,语言简洁通顺,符合初中英语写作的规范。
【难度系数】
0.5
本题要求以王琳的身份给英国笔友Helen回电子邮件,帮她策划有意义的生日。写作需遵循“点明主题-具体介绍活动-美好祝愿”的结构,结合Helen的生日是六一儿童节的特点,紧扣提示内容设计具体活动,使用一般现在时、第二人称,符合邮件格式,确保内容有意义、逻辑清晰。
【解析】
1. 开头:问候并点明主题,说明知道Helen想过有意义的生日;
2. 中间:结合Helen生日与儿童节重合的特点,具体介绍活动:买礼物去附近小学、给孩子讲生日相关故事、和孩子拍照留纪念,体现活动的意义;
3. 结尾:表达对Helen的生日祝愿,用标准邮件结尾格式。全文符合字数要求,时态、人称正确,结构清晰。
【答案】
One possible version:
Dear Helen,
I'm glad to get your email. I know you want to have a meaningful birthday. Here is my idea.
As your birthday is the same day as Children's Day, why not celebrate it with the children in a nearby primary school? You can buy some gifts and visit the school. You can tell them stories about the special day. It is also meaningful for you to take some photos with the children.
I hope you have a meaningful birthday.
Best wishes!
Wang Lin
【知识点】
英语电子邮件写作;一般现在时运用
【点评】
本文紧扣“有意义的生日”主题,结构清晰完整,结合生日与儿童节的特点设计活动,内容具体且富有意义,符合邮件格式和写作要求,语言简洁通顺,符合初中英语写作的规范。
【难度系数】
0.5
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