写作演练
你校英语社团举办“剧本创作大赛”。请以“My own drama story”为题,以下要点作为提示,展开合理想象,编写一段90词左右的故事。
Main characters:Li Hai,fourteen years old,helpful,calm ...
Mr Sun,his neighbour,seventy years old,alone ...
Time:last Sunday afternoon
Place:Mr Sun’s house
Storyline:...
[思路点拨] 1. 文体:记叙文。2. 时态:以一般过去时为主。3. 人称:第三人称。
[写作提纲]

[妙笔生花]
My own drama story
你校英语社团举办“剧本创作大赛”。请以“My own drama story”为题,以下要点作为提示,展开合理想象,编写一段90词左右的故事。
Main characters:Li Hai,fourteen years old,helpful,calm ...
Mr Sun,his neighbour,seventy years old,alone ...
Time:last Sunday afternoon
Place:Mr Sun’s house
Storyline:...
[思路点拨] 1. 文体:记叙文。2. 时态:以一般过去时为主。3. 人称:第三人称。
[写作提纲]
[妙笔生花]
My own drama story
答案
One possible version:
My own drama story
Li Hai is fourteen years old. He is a helpful boy. He is ready to help people in need any time.
Last Sunday afternoon, he was alone at home. He did some reading after finishing his homework. Suddenly, he heard someone shouting for help. He ran outside and saw much smoke from next door. The seventy-year-old Mr Sun lives alone next to his flat. He went in and found Mr Sun in the kitchen. His leg was badly hurt and couldn't get out. The smoke was heavy and the fire was hot, but Li Hai was quite calm. He dialed 119 first, rushed to the bathroom and poured water over his clothes to protect himself. Then he put a wet blanket over Mr Sun and helped him out safely.
What a brave and helpful boy!
My own drama story
Li Hai is fourteen years old. He is a helpful boy. He is ready to help people in need any time.
Last Sunday afternoon, he was alone at home. He did some reading after finishing his homework. Suddenly, he heard someone shouting for help. He ran outside and saw much smoke from next door. The seventy-year-old Mr Sun lives alone next to his flat. He went in and found Mr Sun in the kitchen. His leg was badly hurt and couldn't get out. The smoke was heavy and the fire was hot, but Li Hai was quite calm. He dialed 119 first, rushed to the bathroom and poured water over his clothes to protect himself. Then he put a wet blanket over Mr Sun and helped him out safely.
What a brave and helpful boy!
解析
【分析】
这是一篇提示类英语记叙文写作,解题时我们可以按照给定的三段写作提纲逐步搭建内容:第一步先完成首段,直接介绍主角李海的基本信息,点明他14岁、热心助人的性格特点,完成开篇铺垫。第二步处理主体叙事段,严格按照题干给出的时间(上周日下午)、人物(李海、独居的70岁邻居孙先生)、地点(孙先生家)的要素,顺着事件发展的先后顺序推进:先写李海当时在家的日常活动,再转折写他听到呼救、发现火情、进入现场发现老人被困的过程,补充烟大火势危急的细节,再写出李海冷静施救的完整步骤,把提纲给出的所有提示短语都合理串联起来。最后第三步写结尾段,用感叹句收尾,点明对李海的夸赞,让故事完整。全程注意叙事部分统一使用一般过去时,用第三人称表述,控制总词数在要求范围内即可。
【解析】
写作可按照三步完成:
1. 首段开篇:直接介绍主角Li Hai的基本信息,对应题干给出的人物设定,点明他14岁,是乐于助人、随时准备帮助有需要的人的男孩,完成第一段内容。
2. 主体叙事段:以Last Sunday afternoon开头,先交代李海当时在家写完作业后阅读的状态,接着用Suddenly转折引出他听到呼救声的情节,发现隔壁冒出浓烟,确认是独居的70岁邻居孙先生家,进入屋内发现孙先生在厨房被困、腿部受伤无法脱身,补充描写现场浓烟很大、火势灼热的危急情况,突出李海十分冷静,依次写出他拨打119、用水打湿衣物保护自己、拿湿毯子盖住孙先生将他安全救出的完整施救过程,把所有给定的情节提示全部覆盖。
3. 结尾段:用感叹句收尾,收束全文,点明对李海的赞美,完成整篇故事。
全程注意叙事部分动词统一变为过去式,保证时态准确,逻辑连贯。
【答案】
My own drama story
Li Hai is fourteen years old. He is a helpful boy. He is ready to help people in need any time.
Last Sunday afternoon, he was alone at home. He did some reading after finishing his homework. Suddenly, he heard someone shouting for help. He ran outside and saw much smoke from next door. The seventy-year-old Mr Sun lives alone next to his flat. He went in and found Mr Sun in the kitchen. His leg was badly hurt and couldn't get out. The smoke was heavy and the fire was hot, but Li Hai was quite calm. He dialed 119 first, rushed to the bathroom and poured water over his clothes to protect himself. Then he put a wet blanket over Mr Sun and helped him out safely.
What a brave and helpful boy!
【知识点】
英语记叙文写作;一般过去时运用;情景作文要点整合
【点评】
本文完整覆盖了题干给出的所有人物、时间、地点、情节要求,叙事脉络清晰流畅,按照事件发生的先后顺序推进,细节补充合理自然,既体现了火情的危急,也突出了李海冷静勇敢、热心助人的优秀品质,时态使用准确,句式搭配丰富,完全符合题目的字数和写作要求。
【难度系数】
0.7
这是一篇提示类英语记叙文写作,解题时我们可以按照给定的三段写作提纲逐步搭建内容:第一步先完成首段,直接介绍主角李海的基本信息,点明他14岁、热心助人的性格特点,完成开篇铺垫。第二步处理主体叙事段,严格按照题干给出的时间(上周日下午)、人物(李海、独居的70岁邻居孙先生)、地点(孙先生家)的要素,顺着事件发展的先后顺序推进:先写李海当时在家的日常活动,再转折写他听到呼救、发现火情、进入现场发现老人被困的过程,补充烟大火势危急的细节,再写出李海冷静施救的完整步骤,把提纲给出的所有提示短语都合理串联起来。最后第三步写结尾段,用感叹句收尾,点明对李海的夸赞,让故事完整。全程注意叙事部分统一使用一般过去时,用第三人称表述,控制总词数在要求范围内即可。
【解析】
写作可按照三步完成:
1. 首段开篇:直接介绍主角Li Hai的基本信息,对应题干给出的人物设定,点明他14岁,是乐于助人、随时准备帮助有需要的人的男孩,完成第一段内容。
2. 主体叙事段:以Last Sunday afternoon开头,先交代李海当时在家写完作业后阅读的状态,接着用Suddenly转折引出他听到呼救声的情节,发现隔壁冒出浓烟,确认是独居的70岁邻居孙先生家,进入屋内发现孙先生在厨房被困、腿部受伤无法脱身,补充描写现场浓烟很大、火势灼热的危急情况,突出李海十分冷静,依次写出他拨打119、用水打湿衣物保护自己、拿湿毯子盖住孙先生将他安全救出的完整施救过程,把所有给定的情节提示全部覆盖。
3. 结尾段:用感叹句收尾,收束全文,点明对李海的赞美,完成整篇故事。
全程注意叙事部分动词统一变为过去式,保证时态准确,逻辑连贯。
【答案】
My own drama story
Li Hai is fourteen years old. He is a helpful boy. He is ready to help people in need any time.
Last Sunday afternoon, he was alone at home. He did some reading after finishing his homework. Suddenly, he heard someone shouting for help. He ran outside and saw much smoke from next door. The seventy-year-old Mr Sun lives alone next to his flat. He went in and found Mr Sun in the kitchen. His leg was badly hurt and couldn't get out. The smoke was heavy and the fire was hot, but Li Hai was quite calm. He dialed 119 first, rushed to the bathroom and poured water over his clothes to protect himself. Then he put a wet blanket over Mr Sun and helped him out safely.
What a brave and helpful boy!
【知识点】
英语记叙文写作;一般过去时运用;情景作文要点整合
【点评】
本文完整覆盖了题干给出的所有人物、时间、地点、情节要求,叙事脉络清晰流畅,按照事件发生的先后顺序推进,细节补充合理自然,既体现了火情的危急,也突出了李海冷静勇敢、热心助人的优秀品质,时态使用准确,句式搭配丰富,完全符合题目的字数和写作要求。
【难度系数】
0.7
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