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写作演练
假如去年你和父母到南通旅游，这次旅游让你收获颇丰。请你根据下表的提示，以“The trip to Nantong”为题，用英语写一篇短文，并就这次旅游的所见所闻谈谈你的收获。
要求：
1. 短文必须包含所给的要点，可以适当发挥，不要简单翻译。
2. 词数90左右。开头已经写好，不计入总词数。
3. 短文中请勿提及真实校名及本人姓名。
参考词汇：狼山 the Wolf Hill；园艺博览园 the Horticultural Expo Park；海底世界 the Undersea World；濠河 the Haohe River
[思路点拨] 1. 文体：记叙文。2. 时态：以一般过去时为主。3. 人称：第一人称。
[写作提纲]
We felt so excited when ...
Later that day ...
[妙笔生花]
The trip to Nantong
Last May Day holiday，my parents and I went to Nantong. This experience impressed me deeply.
假如去年你和父母到南通旅游，这次旅游让你收获颇丰。请你根据下表的提示，以“The trip to Nantong”为题，用英语写一篇短文，并就这次旅游的所见所闻谈谈你的收获。
要求：
1. 短文必须包含所给的要点，可以适当发挥，不要简单翻译。
2. 词数90左右。开头已经写好，不计入总词数。
3. 短文中请勿提及真实校名及本人姓名。
参考词汇：狼山 the Wolf Hill；园艺博览园 the Horticultural Expo Park；海底世界 the Undersea World；濠河 the Haohe River
[思路点拨] 1. 文体：记叙文。2. 时态：以一般过去时为主。3. 人称：第一人称。
[写作提纲]
We felt so excited when ...
Later that day ...
[妙笔生花]
The trip to Nantong
Last May Day holiday，my parents and I went to Nantong. This experience impressed me deeply.
In the morning, we went sightseeing on the Wolf Hill. I met a foreigner and talked with him in English when we climbed the hill. I was very happy that I found it useful to learn English. Then we went to the Horticultural Expo Park. We enjoyed many kinds of flowers and trees and took lots of photos. We learned a lot about the flowers and trees. We felt so close to nature and had a lot of fun there.
In the afternoon, I learned a lot about the names of fish when we visited the Undersea World. We felt so excited when we watched the dolphin show. Later that day, we took a boat trip on the Haohe River. I enjoyed the beautiful sights and sang happily all the way.
答案
One possible version:
The trip to Nantong
Last May Day holiday, my parents and I went to Nantong. This experience impressed me deeply. In the morning, we went sightseeing on the Wolf Hill. I met a foreigner and talked with him in English when we climbed the hill. I was very happy that I found it useful to learn English. Then we went to the Horticultural Expo Park. We enjoyed many kinds of flowers and trees and took lots of photos. We learned a lot about the flowers and trees. We felt so close to nature and had a lot of fun there.
In the afternoon, I learned a lot about the names of fish when we visited the Undersea World. We felt so excited when we watched the dolphin show. Later that day, we took a boat trip on the Haohe River. I enjoyed the beautiful sights and sang happily all the way.
We had such an exciting trip that we will never forget it. We hope to visit Nantong again some day.
The trip to Nantong
Last May Day holiday, my parents and I went to Nantong. This experience impressed me deeply. In the morning, we went sightseeing on the Wolf Hill. I met a foreigner and talked with him in English when we climbed the hill. I was very happy that I found it useful to learn English. Then we went to the Horticultural Expo Park. We enjoyed many kinds of flowers and trees and took lots of photos. We learned a lot about the flowers and trees. We felt so close to nature and had a lot of fun there.
In the afternoon, I learned a lot about the names of fish when we visited the Undersea World. We felt so excited when we watched the dolphin show. Later that day, we took a boat trip on the Haohe River. I enjoyed the beautiful sights and sang happily all the way.
We had such an exciting trip that we will never forget it. We hope to visit Nantong again some day.
解析
【分析】
拿到这道写作题，首先要明确核心要求：以第一人称、一般过去时写南通游记，既要覆盖所有提示的景点，还要写出旅行的收获，不能生硬翻译要点。接下来梳理清晰的写作思路：1. 顺着已经给出的开头，按照时间先后顺序（上午-下午-傍晚）安排行程，叙事逻辑会非常顺畅；2. 给每个指定景点匹配对应的活动和个人感悟：狼山部分可以设计偶遇外国游客用英语交流的小细节，自然点出学英语有用的收获；园艺博览园部分写赏花拍照，收获亲近自然、了解植物知识的体验；海底世界部分写了解鱼类知识、看海豚表演的兴奋感；濠河部分写乘船赏景的愉悦；3. 最后收尾总结旅行的难忘感受，表达重游的期待，全程注意不要出现真实校名姓名，控制词数符合要求。
【解析】
1. 框架搭建：采用总分总结构，开头已经给出，中间主体部分按时间顺序串联四个景点，结尾总结旅行意义。
2. 主体内容填充：
① 上午行程：先游览狼山，加入爬山时和外国友人用英语交谈的细节，引出“学习英语很实用”的个人收获；之后前往园艺博览园，描写观赏各类花草、拍照的活动，点明自己了解了很多植物知识，感受到和自然贴近的乐趣。
② 下午及傍晚行程：游览海底世界，写自己认识了很多不同的鱼类，观看海豚表演时十分兴奋；之后乘船游览濠河，沿途欣赏美景，一路心情愉悦。
3. 结尾收尾：总结这次旅行十分令人难忘，表达未来还想再来南通游玩的期待，全程保持一般过去时的时态统一，正确使用题目给出的景点参考词汇，不添加无关的真实个人信息，保证行文流畅自然。
【答案】
The trip to Nantong
Last May Day holiday, my parents and I went to Nantong. This experience impressed me deeply. In the morning, we went sightseeing on the Wolf Hill. I met a foreigner and talked with him in English when we climbed the hill. I was very happy that I found it useful to learn English. Then we went to the Horticultural Expo Park. We enjoyed many kinds of flowers and trees and took lots of photos. We learned a lot about the flowers and trees. We felt so close to nature and had a lot of fun there.
In the afternoon, I learned a lot about the names of fish when we visited the Undersea World. We felt so excited when we watched the dolphin show. Later that day, we took a boat trip on the Haohe River. I enjoyed the beautiful sights and sang happily all the way.
We had such an exciting trip that we will never forget it. We hope to visit Nantong again some day.
【知识点】
一般过去时叙事，游记类英语写作，记叙文谋篇布局
【点评】
本篇范文完全覆盖了题目给出的所有景点要点，没有生硬翻译提示内容，加入了合理的细节让叙事生动鲜活，每个行程部分都自然融入了个人的所见所感和旅行收获，时态、人称使用完全准确，行文衔接流畅，词数符合题目要求，是一篇符合初中英语写作评分标准的优秀范文。学生写作时要注意避免只罗列行程，要把个人的体验和收获自然融入内容中，提升作文的质感。
【难度系数】
0.7
拿到这道写作题，首先要明确核心要求：以第一人称、一般过去时写南通游记，既要覆盖所有提示的景点，还要写出旅行的收获，不能生硬翻译要点。接下来梳理清晰的写作思路：1. 顺着已经给出的开头，按照时间先后顺序（上午-下午-傍晚）安排行程，叙事逻辑会非常顺畅；2. 给每个指定景点匹配对应的活动和个人感悟：狼山部分可以设计偶遇外国游客用英语交流的小细节，自然点出学英语有用的收获；园艺博览园部分写赏花拍照，收获亲近自然、了解植物知识的体验；海底世界部分写了解鱼类知识、看海豚表演的兴奋感；濠河部分写乘船赏景的愉悦；3. 最后收尾总结旅行的难忘感受，表达重游的期待，全程注意不要出现真实校名姓名，控制词数符合要求。
【解析】
1. 框架搭建：采用总分总结构，开头已经给出，中间主体部分按时间顺序串联四个景点，结尾总结旅行意义。
2. 主体内容填充：
① 上午行程：先游览狼山，加入爬山时和外国友人用英语交谈的细节，引出“学习英语很实用”的个人收获；之后前往园艺博览园，描写观赏各类花草、拍照的活动，点明自己了解了很多植物知识，感受到和自然贴近的乐趣。
② 下午及傍晚行程：游览海底世界，写自己认识了很多不同的鱼类，观看海豚表演时十分兴奋；之后乘船游览濠河，沿途欣赏美景，一路心情愉悦。
3. 结尾收尾：总结这次旅行十分令人难忘，表达未来还想再来南通游玩的期待，全程保持一般过去时的时态统一，正确使用题目给出的景点参考词汇，不添加无关的真实个人信息，保证行文流畅自然。
【答案】
The trip to Nantong
Last May Day holiday, my parents and I went to Nantong. This experience impressed me deeply. In the morning, we went sightseeing on the Wolf Hill. I met a foreigner and talked with him in English when we climbed the hill. I was very happy that I found it useful to learn English. Then we went to the Horticultural Expo Park. We enjoyed many kinds of flowers and trees and took lots of photos. We learned a lot about the flowers and trees. We felt so close to nature and had a lot of fun there.
In the afternoon, I learned a lot about the names of fish when we visited the Undersea World. We felt so excited when we watched the dolphin show. Later that day, we took a boat trip on the Haohe River. I enjoyed the beautiful sights and sang happily all the way.
We had such an exciting trip that we will never forget it. We hope to visit Nantong again some day.
【知识点】
一般过去时叙事，游记类英语写作，记叙文谋篇布局
【点评】
本篇范文完全覆盖了题目给出的所有景点要点，没有生硬翻译提示内容，加入了合理的细节让叙事生动鲜活，每个行程部分都自然融入了个人的所见所感和旅行收获，时态、人称使用完全准确，行文衔接流畅，词数符合题目要求，是一篇符合初中英语写作评分标准的优秀范文。学生写作时要注意避免只罗列行程，要把个人的体验和收获自然融入内容中，提升作文的质感。
【难度系数】
0.7
