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写作专项提优
📖佳作赏析 品读范文,拆解核心技巧
长辈给孩子压岁钱是中国的传统习俗之一。如何管理压岁钱成为大家争论的焦点。请根据以下问题提示,写一篇90词左右的短文,谈谈你的做法。
提示:
1. When do children get their lucky money?
2. What do you often spend your lucky money on?
3. How will you manage your lucky money?
[高分范文]
Now, parents or other relatives give children more and more lucky money❶ on birthdays or at festivals.
Everyone has his or her own way of spending the money. For me, I usually spend most of my lucky money on snacks and drinks I like. School things also cost a part of my money, like pens and books.❷ I don't
think I spend my money wisely.
In the future, I plan to make better use of my money❸. First❹, I will spend less on snacks. Second❺, I will try to help others. Third❻, I should save some money for future use.
[名师点评]
① 主题扣题:开篇直接点出"家长及亲属给孩子的压岁钱增多"的生活现象,紧扣"合理规划压岁钱"的核心主题。
② 内容落地:以自身使用压岁钱的经历为例,从零食、饮料、学习用品方面展开,内容真实具体。
③ 结构清晰:使用First、Second、Third等衔接词分层阐述对未来的规划,逻辑层次清晰。
④ 收尾自然:结尾以make better use of my money总结全文,既呼应前文的自我反思,又明确未来行动方向,表达简洁有力,收尾有总结性和延伸性。
📚素材积累 储备金句,提升语言质感
[开头句]
1. I manage my pocket money every month.
2. I make a budget every year.
3. Money matters in every family.
[中间句]
1. I save the rest in my bank account.
2. They are necessary for my life.
3. Besides, I plan to have a holiday with my friends.
4. Finally, I spend about 20% helping children in need.
[结尾句]
1. It's important to spend money wisely.
2. This helps me have good habits.
3. It's about how I can use money to create a better life for myself and others.
[名言警句]
1. I believe every little bit of love counts.
我相信每一点爱都很重要。
2. Save for a rainy day.
未雨绸缪。
📖佳作赏析 品读范文,拆解核心技巧
长辈给孩子压岁钱是中国的传统习俗之一。如何管理压岁钱成为大家争论的焦点。请根据以下问题提示,写一篇90词左右的短文,谈谈你的做法。
提示:
1. When do children get their lucky money?
2. What do you often spend your lucky money on?
3. How will you manage your lucky money?
[高分范文]
Now, parents or other relatives give children more and more lucky money❶ on birthdays or at festivals.
Everyone has his or her own way of spending the money. For me, I usually spend most of my lucky money on snacks and drinks I like. School things also cost a part of my money, like pens and books.❷ I don't
think I spend my money wisely.In the future, I plan to make better use of my money❸. First❹, I will spend less on snacks. Second❺, I will try to help others. Third❻, I should save some money for future use.
[名师点评]
① 主题扣题:开篇直接点出"家长及亲属给孩子的压岁钱增多"的生活现象,紧扣"合理规划压岁钱"的核心主题。
② 内容落地:以自身使用压岁钱的经历为例,从零食、饮料、学习用品方面展开,内容真实具体。
③ 结构清晰:使用First、Second、Third等衔接词分层阐述对未来的规划,逻辑层次清晰。
④ 收尾自然:结尾以make better use of my money总结全文,既呼应前文的自我反思,又明确未来行动方向,表达简洁有力,收尾有总结性和延伸性。
📚素材积累 储备金句,提升语言质感
[开头句]
1. I manage my pocket money every month.
2. I make a budget every year.
3. Money matters in every family.
[中间句]
1. I save the rest in my bank account.
2. They are necessary for my life.
3. Besides, I plan to have a holiday with my friends.
4. Finally, I spend about 20% helping children in need.
[结尾句]
1. It's important to spend money wisely.
2. This helps me have good habits.
3. It's about how I can use money to create a better life for myself and others.
[名言警句]
1. I believe every little bit of love counts.
我相信每一点爱都很重要。
2. Save for a rainy day.
未雨绸缪。
答案
How I Use My Lucky Money
It's a Chinese tradition for kids to get lucky money from elders. We usually get the money at the Spring Festival or other important festivals.
I used to spend most of my lucky money on snacks and cartoon books I love. Now I make a clear plan for my lucky money. First, I will save half of it for future use, as the old saying goes, save for a rainy day. Second, I will use a part of it to buy pens and other school things. Third, I will spend a little money helping the children in need. It's really important to spend money wisely.
It's a Chinese tradition for kids to get lucky money from elders. We usually get the money at the Spring Festival or other important festivals.
I used to spend most of my lucky money on snacks and cartoon books I love. Now I make a clear plan for my lucky money. First, I will save half of it for future use, as the old saying goes, save for a rainy day. Second, I will use a part of it to buy pens and other school things. Third, I will spend a little money helping the children in need. It's really important to spend money wisely.
解析
【分析】本题为英语写作专项的佳作赏析题，解题思路为：先明确写作要求——围绕压岁钱的三个问题（获取时间、当前花费、未来规划）写90词左右短文，核心是体现合理规划压岁钱；再拆解高分范文的写作技巧：开篇点题对应提示1，中间段结合自身经历对应提示2，用衔接词分层规划对应提示3；最后结合名师点评的四个维度，明确范文的可取之处，帮助学生掌握写作方法。
【解析】本题赏析的是符合要求的优秀英语短文，具体解析：1. 主题扣题：范文开篇直接点明“家长及亲属在生日或节日给孩子压岁钱”的现象，紧扣“合理规划压岁钱”核心，对应提示1；2. 内容落地：中间段明确当前压岁钱花费（零食、饮料、学习用品），还反思花钱不够明智，内容真实，对应提示2；3. 结构清晰：用First、Second、Third衔接未来规划（减少零食、帮助他人、储蓄），逻辑分明，对应提示3；4. 收尾自然：以“make better use of my money”总结，呼应前文反思，符合字数要求，是合格的范文。
【答案】Now, parents or other relatives give children more and more lucky money on birthdays or at festivals. Everyone has his or her own way of spending the money. For me, I usually spend most of my lucky money on snacks and drinks I like. School things also cost a part of my money, like pens and books. I don't think I spend my money wisely. In the future, I plan to make better use of my money. First, I will spend less on snacks. Second, I will try to help others. Third, I should save some money for future use.
【知识点】英语写作技巧、应用文写作、主题表达
【点评】本题是英语写作专项提优的佳作赏析，通过拆解范文的写作技巧，从主题扣题、内容落地、结构清晰、收尾自然四个维度指导学生掌握写作方法，实用性强，能有效提升学生的英语写作能力。
【难度系数】0.5
【解析】本题赏析的是符合要求的优秀英语短文，具体解析：1. 主题扣题：范文开篇直接点明“家长及亲属在生日或节日给孩子压岁钱”的现象，紧扣“合理规划压岁钱”核心，对应提示1；2. 内容落地：中间段明确当前压岁钱花费（零食、饮料、学习用品），还反思花钱不够明智，内容真实，对应提示2；3. 结构清晰：用First、Second、Third衔接未来规划（减少零食、帮助他人、储蓄），逻辑分明，对应提示3；4. 收尾自然：以“make better use of my money”总结，呼应前文反思，符合字数要求，是合格的范文。
【答案】Now, parents or other relatives give children more and more lucky money on birthdays or at festivals. Everyone has his or her own way of spending the money. For me, I usually spend most of my lucky money on snacks and drinks I like. School things also cost a part of my money, like pens and books. I don't think I spend my money wisely. In the future, I plan to make better use of my money. First, I will spend less on snacks. Second, I will try to help others. Third, I should save some money for future use.
【知识点】英语写作技巧、应用文写作、主题表达
【点评】本题是英语写作专项提优的佳作赏析，通过拆解范文的写作技巧，从主题扣题、内容落地、结构清晰、收尾自然四个维度指导学生掌握写作方法，实用性强，能有效提升学生的英语写作能力。
【难度系数】0.5
