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[范文评析]
1. 总评:契合“我的爱好及收获”主题,清晰回应了“爱好是什么、爱好带来的益处、通过爱好交友”等内容,立意积极向上,传递了从爱好中收获成长与快乐的态度。
2. 结构布局:采用“开篇点明爱好主题→正文阐述爱好的益处→结尾总结爱好的价值”的结构,逻辑清晰,层次分明。
[写作实践]
假如你是李明,你正在参与学校举行的主题为“My Hobby Makes Me Better”的征文活动。请你根据以下信息,并结合自身经历,选择或自定一项爱好,用英语写一篇短文进行投稿。
My Hobby Makes Me Better
◆ Who do you share the hobby with?
◆ When/where do you do it?
◆ What do you think of it?
learn a lot about.../keep healthy/feel relaxed/make life colourful...
注意:1.提供的信息仅供参考使用;2.文中不得出现真实姓名、学校等信息;3.词数70左右。
1. 总评:契合“我的爱好及收获”主题,清晰回应了“爱好是什么、爱好带来的益处、通过爱好交友”等内容,立意积极向上,传递了从爱好中收获成长与快乐的态度。
2. 结构布局:采用“开篇点明爱好主题→正文阐述爱好的益处→结尾总结爱好的价值”的结构,逻辑清晰,层次分明。
[写作实践]
假如你是李明,你正在参与学校举行的主题为“My Hobby Makes Me Better”的征文活动。请你根据以下信息,并结合自身经历,选择或自定一项爱好,用英语写一篇短文进行投稿。
My Hobby Makes Me Better
◆ Who do you share the hobby with?
◆ When/where do you do it?
◆ What do you think of it?
learn a lot about.../keep healthy/feel relaxed/make life colourful...
注意:1.提供的信息仅供参考使用;2.文中不得出现真实姓名、学校等信息;3.词数70左右。
答案
第八课时 Writing
标准提分版：
My Hobby Makes Me Better
My hobby is reading. I often share books with my cousin and we talk about interesting stories every weekend. I usually read in my bedroom after finishing my homework. From reading, I learn a lot about history and science. It also makes me feel relaxed when I am tired. This hobby helps me grow. It opens my eyes and makes my life colourful. I believe reading will keep making me better.
进阶优化版：
My Hobby Makes Me Better
Playing basketball is my hobby. I often play it with my classmates on the school playground every Friday afternoon. Running and passing the ball with my classmates helps me forget stress. It keeps me strong and healthy, and I have learnt teamwork. Basketball is more than a hobby. It shapes a better me, makes my life energetic, and teaches me to face difficulties. I enjoy every basketball game and will keep playing it.
标准提分版：
My Hobby Makes Me Better
My hobby is reading. I often share books with my cousin and we talk about interesting stories every weekend. I usually read in my bedroom after finishing my homework. From reading, I learn a lot about history and science. It also makes me feel relaxed when I am tired. This hobby helps me grow. It opens my eyes and makes my life colourful. I believe reading will keep making me better.
进阶优化版：
My Hobby Makes Me Better
Playing basketball is my hobby. I often play it with my classmates on the school playground every Friday afternoon. Running and passing the ball with my classmates helps me forget stress. It keeps me strong and healthy, and I have learnt teamwork. Basketball is more than a hobby. It shapes a better me, makes my life energetic, and teaches me to face difficulties. I enjoy every basketball game and will keep playing it.
解析
【分析】
本题要求以“My Hobby Makes Me Better”为题写英语短文，需紧扣主题，结合提示信息（爱好相关的人物、时间地点、益处），结构上要开篇点明爱好，正文阐述细节与收获，结尾总结价值。写作时要注意词数70左右，避免真实信息，用简单流畅的英语表达。
【解析】
1. 开篇：直接点明自己的爱好，如“My hobby is reading.”；
2. 正文：说明和谁一起做、时间地点，比如“I often share books with my cousin and talk about stories every weekend, reading in my bedroom after homework.”；接着写爱好的益处，如“learn about history and science, feel relaxed when tired, make life colourful”；
3. 结尾：总结爱好让自己更好，如“This hobby helps me grow, I believe reading keeps making me better.”；
注意语言简洁，符合初中英语水平，覆盖所有要求要点。
【答案】
My Hobby Makes Me Better
My hobby is reading. I often share books with my cousin and we talk about interesting stories every weekend. I usually read in my bedroom after finishing my homework. From reading, I learn a lot about history and science. It also makes me feel relaxed when I am tired. This hobby helps me grow. It opens my eyes and makes my life colourful. I believe reading will keep making me better.
【知识点】
英语写作、文章结构布局、爱好类英语表达
【点评】
作文紧扣“My Hobby Makes Me Better”主题，结构清晰（开篇点题→正文讲细节与收获→结尾总结），涵盖了题目要求的所有要点，语言简单流畅，符合初中英语写作的要求，传递了积极向上的态度。
【难度系数】
0.3
本题要求以“My Hobby Makes Me Better”为题写英语短文，需紧扣主题，结合提示信息（爱好相关的人物、时间地点、益处），结构上要开篇点明爱好，正文阐述细节与收获，结尾总结价值。写作时要注意词数70左右，避免真实信息，用简单流畅的英语表达。
【解析】
1. 开篇：直接点明自己的爱好，如“My hobby is reading.”；
2. 正文：说明和谁一起做、时间地点，比如“I often share books with my cousin and talk about stories every weekend, reading in my bedroom after homework.”；接着写爱好的益处，如“learn about history and science, feel relaxed when tired, make life colourful”；
3. 结尾：总结爱好让自己更好，如“This hobby helps me grow, I believe reading keeps making me better.”；
注意语言简洁，符合初中英语水平，覆盖所有要求要点。
【答案】
My Hobby Makes Me Better
My hobby is reading. I often share books with my cousin and we talk about interesting stories every weekend. I usually read in my bedroom after finishing my homework. From reading, I learn a lot about history and science. It also makes me feel relaxed when I am tired. This hobby helps me grow. It opens my eyes and makes my life colourful. I believe reading will keep making me better.
【知识点】
英语写作、文章结构布局、爱好类英语表达
【点评】
作文紧扣“My Hobby Makes Me Better”主题，结构清晰（开篇点题→正文讲细节与收获→结尾总结），涵盖了题目要求的所有要点，语言简单流畅，符合初中英语写作的要求，传递了积极向上的态度。
【难度系数】
0.3
