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七、书面表达(满分10分)
春节即将到来,学校鼓励学生用自己积攒的零用钱,为某位家人准备一份健康又有心意的新年礼物。学校英语俱乐部的专栏“Wise Gifts, Warm Hearts”正在征集相关稿件,请你用英文写一篇文章进行分享,内容须涵盖以下要点:
- Who will you buy the gift for? What gift will you buy? Why?
- How will you save or make money to buy it?
- What do you hope to bring to your family member?
Gift Ideas(choose one of the following gifts or think of a new one):
注意:1. 内容须涵盖所有要点,可适当发挥;2. 不少于80词;3. 文中不得提及有关个人身份的任何信息,如校名、人名等。
Wise Gifts, Warm Hearts
春节即将到来,学校鼓励学生用自己积攒的零用钱,为某位家人准备一份健康又有心意的新年礼物。学校英语俱乐部的专栏“Wise Gifts, Warm Hearts”正在征集相关稿件,请你用英文写一篇文章进行分享,内容须涵盖以下要点:
- Who will you buy the gift for? What gift will you buy? Why?
- How will you save or make money to buy it?
- What do you hope to bring to your family member?
Gift Ideas(choose one of the following gifts or think of a new one):
注意:1. 内容须涵盖所有要点,可适当发挥;2. 不少于80词;3. 文中不得提及有关个人身份的任何信息,如校名、人名等。
Wise Gifts, Warm Hearts
As the Spring Festival is coming, I plan to buy a smart water bottle for my dad. He is always busy with his work and often forgets to drink enough water, which is bad for his health. The smart water bottle can remind him to drink water on time, so it's a healthy and practical gift for him.
To save the 80 yuan for the gift, I will stop buying fancy stationery and toys that I don't really need. I will also help my parents do housework like mopping the floor and washing dishes to earn some pocket money. I think I can get enough money before the festival.
I hope this smart water bottle can help my dad form a good drinking habit and stay healthy. I also hope he knows that I care about his health and love him deeply.
答案
七、
写作指导
[审题步骤]
①体裁:说明文。②时态:主要为一般现在时。③提示:覆盖内容要点,语言通顺,条理清晰。
[写作步骤]
第一步,开篇点明送礼对象为爸爸,选择智能水杯作为礼物,说明原因——爸爸工作忙碌经常忘记喝水,智能水杯能提醒他喝水,保障健康;第二步,说明攒钱方式,如减少购买不必要的文具和玩具,帮忙拖地、洗碗等来赚取零花钱;第三步,表达对爸爸的期许,希望爸爸能养成良好的喝水习惯,保持健康,感受到自己的关心。
[词句积累]
①be busy with work 忙于工作 ②remind sb to do sth 提醒某人做某事 ③form a good habit 养成好习惯
④He is always busy with his work and often forgets to drink enough water, which is bad for his health. (which 引导非限制性定语从句)
⑤I hope this smart water bottle can help my dad form a good drinking habit and stay healthy. (省略 that 的宾语从句)
One possible version:
Wise Gifts, Warm Hearts
As the Spring Festival is coming, I plan to buy a smart water bottle for my dad. He is always busy with his work and often forgets to drink enough water, which is bad for his health. The smart water bottle can remind him to drink water on time, so it's a healthy and practical gift for him.
To save the 80 yuan for the gift, I will stop buying fancy stationery and toys that I don't really need. I will also help my parents do housework like mopping the floor and washing dishes to earn some pocket money. I think I can get enough money before the festival.
I hope this smart water bottle can help my dad form a good drinking habit and stay healthy. I also hope he knows that I care about his health and love him deeply.
写作指导
[审题步骤]
①体裁:说明文。②时态:主要为一般现在时。③提示:覆盖内容要点,语言通顺,条理清晰。
[写作步骤]
第一步,开篇点明送礼对象为爸爸,选择智能水杯作为礼物,说明原因——爸爸工作忙碌经常忘记喝水,智能水杯能提醒他喝水,保障健康;第二步,说明攒钱方式,如减少购买不必要的文具和玩具,帮忙拖地、洗碗等来赚取零花钱;第三步,表达对爸爸的期许,希望爸爸能养成良好的喝水习惯,保持健康,感受到自己的关心。
[词句积累]
①be busy with work 忙于工作 ②remind sb to do sth 提醒某人做某事 ③form a good habit 养成好习惯
④He is always busy with his work and often forgets to drink enough water, which is bad for his health. (which 引导非限制性定语从句)
⑤I hope this smart water bottle can help my dad form a good drinking habit and stay healthy. (省略 that 的宾语从句)
One possible version:
Wise Gifts, Warm Hearts
As the Spring Festival is coming, I plan to buy a smart water bottle for my dad. He is always busy with his work and often forgets to drink enough water, which is bad for his health. The smart water bottle can remind him to drink water on time, so it's a healthy and practical gift for him.
To save the 80 yuan for the gift, I will stop buying fancy stationery and toys that I don't really need. I will also help my parents do housework like mopping the floor and washing dishes to earn some pocket money. I think I can get enough money before the festival.
I hope this smart water bottle can help my dad form a good drinking habit and stay healthy. I also hope he knows that I care about his health and love him deeply.
解析
【分析】
拿到这道写作题首先要明确核心要求：这是一篇主题征文，需要全部覆盖题干给出的三个要点，同时符合“健康有心意的新年礼物”的活动设定。第一步先确定核心内容：首先选好送礼对象，比如日常疏于照顾自己的父亲，从给出的三个礼物里选智能水杯，对应说明原因——父亲忙于工作经常忘记喝水，智能水杯可以定时提醒他喝水，符合健康属性。第二步构思攒钱的合理方式，贴合学生身份，比如减少非必要的文具、玩具消费，通过帮家里做家务赚取零花钱，内容真实自然。第三步明确想要传递的心意，希望家人养成健康习惯，感受到自己的关心。最后把内容按逻辑分段，控制字数在80词以上，全程不要出现校名、人名等隐私信息，时态以一般现在时和一般将来时为主即可。
【解析】
1. 审题定位：体裁为主题征文，核心时态以一般现在时、一般将来时为主，必须覆盖全部3个指定要点，字数不少于80词，不得出现个人身份相关信息。
2. 结构搭建：
第一段：开篇引入春节的背景，点明送礼对象是父亲，选择的礼物是智能水杯，解释选择的原因，说明该礼物对父亲健康的帮助。
第二段：具体说明攒钱的可行方案，比如停止购买非必需的花哨文具、玩具，通过拖地、洗碗等家务赚取零花钱，说明可以在春节前攒够钱款。
第三段：表达自己的期许，希望礼物能帮助父亲养成良好的饮水习惯、保持健康，同时让父亲感受到自己的在意和爱意，升华暖心的主题。
3. 语句优化：适当使用非限制性定语从句、宾语从句等句式，搭配be busy with work、remind sb to do sth、form a good habit等常用短语，避免语法错误，保证行文流畅自然。
【答案】
Wise Gifts, Warm Hearts
As the Spring Festival is coming, I plan to buy a smart water bottle for my dad. He is always busy with his work and often forgets to drink enough water, which is bad for his health. The smart water bottle can remind him to drink water on time, so it's a healthy and practical gift for him.
To save the 80 yuan for the gift, I will stop buying fancy stationery and toys that I don't really need. I will also help my parents do housework like mopping the floor and washing dishes to earn some pocket money. I think I can get enough money before the festival.
I hope this smart water bottle can help my dad form a good drinking habit and stay healthy. I also hope he knows that I care about his health and love him deeply.
【知识点】
应用文写作，时态正确运用，写作要点整合
【点评】
本题贴合学生生活实际，引导学生学会感恩关爱家人，写作门槛较低，考生只要紧扣三个指定要点补充合理的生活化细节，保证语句通顺、字数达标即可拿到基础分，适当加入高级句式可以进一步提升作文得分，需要注意避免出现个人隐私信息，不要遗漏要点。
【难度系数】
0.7
拿到这道写作题首先要明确核心要求：这是一篇主题征文，需要全部覆盖题干给出的三个要点，同时符合“健康有心意的新年礼物”的活动设定。第一步先确定核心内容：首先选好送礼对象，比如日常疏于照顾自己的父亲，从给出的三个礼物里选智能水杯，对应说明原因——父亲忙于工作经常忘记喝水，智能水杯可以定时提醒他喝水，符合健康属性。第二步构思攒钱的合理方式，贴合学生身份，比如减少非必要的文具、玩具消费，通过帮家里做家务赚取零花钱，内容真实自然。第三步明确想要传递的心意，希望家人养成健康习惯，感受到自己的关心。最后把内容按逻辑分段，控制字数在80词以上，全程不要出现校名、人名等隐私信息，时态以一般现在时和一般将来时为主即可。
【解析】
1. 审题定位：体裁为主题征文，核心时态以一般现在时、一般将来时为主，必须覆盖全部3个指定要点，字数不少于80词，不得出现个人身份相关信息。
2. 结构搭建：
第一段：开篇引入春节的背景，点明送礼对象是父亲，选择的礼物是智能水杯，解释选择的原因，说明该礼物对父亲健康的帮助。
第二段：具体说明攒钱的可行方案，比如停止购买非必需的花哨文具、玩具，通过拖地、洗碗等家务赚取零花钱，说明可以在春节前攒够钱款。
第三段：表达自己的期许，希望礼物能帮助父亲养成良好的饮水习惯、保持健康，同时让父亲感受到自己的在意和爱意，升华暖心的主题。
3. 语句优化：适当使用非限制性定语从句、宾语从句等句式，搭配be busy with work、remind sb to do sth、form a good habit等常用短语，避免语法错误，保证行文流畅自然。
【答案】
Wise Gifts, Warm Hearts
As the Spring Festival is coming, I plan to buy a smart water bottle for my dad. He is always busy with his work and often forgets to drink enough water, which is bad for his health. The smart water bottle can remind him to drink water on time, so it's a healthy and practical gift for him.
To save the 80 yuan for the gift, I will stop buying fancy stationery and toys that I don't really need. I will also help my parents do housework like mopping the floor and washing dishes to earn some pocket money. I think I can get enough money before the festival.
I hope this smart water bottle can help my dad form a good drinking habit and stay healthy. I also hope he knows that I care about his health and love him deeply.
【知识点】
应用文写作，时态正确运用，写作要点整合
【点评】
本题贴合学生生活实际，引导学生学会感恩关爱家人，写作门槛较低，考生只要紧扣三个指定要点补充合理的生活化细节，保证语句通顺、字数达标即可拿到基础分，适当加入高级句式可以进一步提升作文得分，需要注意避免出现个人隐私信息，不要遗漏要点。
【难度系数】
0.7
